rants Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Why Your Cardinals Suck
The St. Louis Cardinals beat the Pittsburgh Pirates last night, because the Cardinals don't like it when another team like the Pirates or Nationals dares to threaten their self-appointed status as America's Baseball Sweethearts. They'll move on to face the GLORY BOY Dodgers in the NLCS, and somehow ...
Why People Hate Darren Rovell
This weekend, Steve Kandell at BuzzFeeᴅ took a brief respite from posting listicles of shit that makes you feel old to do a big #longread on ESPN sports business reporter and Boiler Room extra Darren Rovell. As usual, Rovell comes across as an unapologetic industry hack, someone who found his niche...
![The Greatest Yankees Meltdown Ever Captured On Tape [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
The Greatest Yankees Meltdown Ever Captured On Tape [NSFW]
Here's a cool old relic from the last great era of Yankees dysfunction. It's a clip of Hall of Fame reliever Goose Gossage losing his shit in front of the New York media in 1982—the beginning of a miserable, drawn-out decade for the organization, when all that '70s glory turned to pinstriped shit....
Woman Sobs And Rants After Not Getting Autographs At Redskins Camp
Oh, dear. This is just so very sad. Crying Giants fan, you may have met your match. ...
Fuck You, Bill Belichick
I was close, Bill Belichick. I was thissss close to spending an entire NFL season free of Tebowmania, or Tebow Time, or whatever fucking brand stamp ESPN decides to put on all its coverage of the Jesusback. I was really looking forward to it, too. I was gonna watch every game safe in the knowledg...
Bill Polian Rips Tyrann Mathieu, Calls Honey Badger "A Poor Teammate"
Former NFL general manager and current ESPN analyst Bill Polian destroyed Tyrann Mathieu today, calling the prospect a "poor teammate and a poor risk," and claiming were he still in charge of drafting for a pro team that he'd "take him off our board."...
Taste Test: Will Dorito-Sheathed Tacos Be The End Of Us All?
You saunter up to the counter at your local Taco Bell, you order your Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco (taking care not to actually say all of that, for fear of creating the accurate impression that you have paid rapt attention to the television advertisements and planned this trip in advance; instead ...
We’ve Translated This Apoplectic Irish Soccer Fan's Rant For Those Not Fluent In Crazy-Speak
A few weeks ago, Juventus defeated Celtic 3-0 in Champions League play. Soon after, this video of a mildly distressed Celtic fan appeared on the internet. We do not know who this young woman is, and we do not have any idea what she is saying in this video, but we do know that her grief is very rea...
Scarves Are Bullshit
It's cold outside today, unless you're one of those insufferable L.A. people who are like IT'S SUNNY AND 70 HERE IN DOUCHE HEAVEN, BABY! Anyway, I had to venture out into the WINDSWEPT MOONSCAPE today, and it was imperative to cover both my neck and the lower half of my face. This is the Scarf Zone,...
"What A Joke This Sport Is!" Jeff Van Gundy Is Not A Fan Of The Designated Hitter Rule
The Thunder's beat-down of the Lakers last night got a little boring towards the end, as beat-downs will, and unlike some spectators, Mike Breen and Jeff Van Gundy were contractually obligated to remain in their seats. Naturally, talk turned to the designated hitter, and—like many people, but in h...
Mike Francesa Cannot Work In This Filth
Via Awful Announcing, WFAN's sports talk radio creature from the black lagoon Mike Francesa decided to start yesterday's show with the one thing he knows his listeners care about most: how messy the previous show's hosts left his desk. It's a fun rant though, especially coming from a guy who knows...
The Year In Rants: All The Unhinged Rambling We And Others Did This Year
There was a lot of ranting to be done in 2012. Some of it was carried out by us, and some of it was carried out by people who may actually be crazy. Enjoy all the yelling....
Jerry Seinfeld Is The Worst
I've reached my tipping point with Jerry Seinfeld. It happened today, with this endless New York Times writeup that no one asked for, which includes the following caption: ...
Philosophy Professors Come To The Defense Of Suspended Wyoming Coach Dave "Mr. Fucking Howdy Doody" Christensen
Dave Christensen was suspended for a week and fined after this meltdown following Wyoming's loss to Air Force, in which he accused his counterpart of having the Falcons quarterback fake an injury to stop the clock. Our favorite quote, very to-the-point, was Christensen's accusatory "You have no fu...
Profane Rant By D-III Christian College's Golf Coach Is A Thing To Behold
You could forward through the first 1:55 of this clip to get to the yelling and the screaming and the oh-so-many bad words. You could. But you shouldn't, because the buildup is what makes the explosion so great. Calm, helpful strategy gives way to praise for the one player who shot a decent round,...
Michael Wilbon Is A Gutless, Starfucking Crybaby Troll
For the past three decades, Mike Wilbon has earned a living barely disguising his contempt for you, the filthy peasant sports fan. Whether boasting to the world how unsurprised he was about Sean Taylor being murdered, or chastising you for looking to him for gossip from his White House partygoing, o...
FIRE THIS ASSHOLE
This is Roger Goodell. He's the commissioner of the NFL. Someone, please, FIRE THIS ASSHOLE....
The Scab Refs Still Suck, And Roger Goodell Is Still A Hypocritical Shitstain
On Aug. 31, just a week or so prior to the kickoff of the new season, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell sent out a "note" to the public that was essentially a press release, a reminder to you, the NFL viewing public, that the league was going balls-out on player safety:...
This Is Now The Pittsburgh Pirates' Worst Season Ever
There was Pat Meares, and there was Operation Shutdown. There were those 100 losses in 2001, the year PNC Park opened. There was whatever they did to mess up Oliver Perez. There was that lost Saturday night in Anaheim in '07, when Ian Snell just couldn't take it anymore. And there was last year's 19...