st Page 2012 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jesse Ventura Is Sick Of America, Plans To Become Mexican
Former professional wrestler turned former action movie hero turned former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura is about to turn Mexican, the AP reports. Ventura is ticked off that he lost a lawsuit against the federal government (of the USA) on Thursday, alleging that airport scans and pat-downs amou...
Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So: It's Called The Big Ten, Not The Top Ten
It's time for a new installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be. ...
3,000 Cards Fans Will Now Claim The Autographed Hat A Cubs Fan Found On The Highway
Did you lose a 2011 World Series championship cap autographed by Cardinals players somewhere on I-74 in central Illinois recently? Of course you did. A Cubs fan found it, and now he wants to return it to its rightful owner—you: "He says whoever comes forward will have to know about an unexpected sig...
The Death Of A Former Football Player At An Underground Fight In A Church Has, Somehow, Resulted In A Lawsuit
The church along the Broken Arrow Expressway in Tulsa is of the Christian-capitalist mega-variety. You know the deal: rock shows, slick website, a gift shop, deadly unsanctioned boxing fights. One such fight on Sept. 21, 2011, allegedly resulted in the death of George Clinkscale, who played lineback...
How Many Times Have We Farted In Human History? A Very Rough Calculation
I was sitting next to my friend on a bus the other day. He farted. It got us thinking: How many farts have there been in human history?...
The Stupid Moral Panic Over Mocking Tim Tebow; Or, What Would Jesus Do About Tebowing?
Oh, please. You know why Tebow memes exist? You know why they've, let us say, gone forth and multiplied? Because of columns like this, that's why. Here's the headline:...
The Spinning Magic Of Left-Footed Punters
Why did the Saints, Chargers, and Ravens—three teams with above-average punters—all work out free agent punters last week? No, it's not because any of those teams is scapegoating their punter for the whole team's jaw-dropping inconsistency. Rather, they wanted to practice against left-footed punters...
Albert Pujols Spotted At The Airport In St. Louis. But Where Could He Be Going?
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!!...
The Facial Expression On The World's Fastest Jump Roper Is Gold
[via The Score]...
CNN Cuts Short Its Awkward Interview With John Carlos Because Of Technical Difficulties
Former Olympian and current human rights crusader John Carlos has a new book out with The Nation's Dave Zirin, which we excerpted last week. Carlos has been lending his support to the Occupy Wall Street movement, and this morning, CNN booked him for an interview with Kyra Phillips. The conversatio...
This Evening: Albert Pujols Dedicating A Statue Of Albert Pujols At Albert Pujols's Restaurant, Pujols 5 Westport Grill
Your p.m. roundup for Nov. 2, the day most of those "sexy" studies turned out to be frauds. Photo of Pujols dedicating Pujols statue via Big League Stew. H/T to Mike T, who also suggested the perfect headline. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Ho-hum, Cristiano Ronaldo Is Scoring On Stupidly Awesome Free Kicks Again
After Lionel Messi's hat trick Tuesday—his second consecutive match with at least three goals—the world turned to Real Madrid striker Cristiano Ronaldo for a response. He delivered early in RM's Champions League match at Lyon, with a blistering free kick that had the Lyonnais seeking shelter and O...
Appeals Court Finally Tosses Fine Against CBS For Janet Jackson's 2004 Wardrobe Malfunction
Writes the New York Times: "A federal appeals court on Wednesday again threw out a $550,000 fine against CBS by the Federal Communications Commission for Janet Jackson's famed "wardrobe malfunction" during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show."...
It's Come To This: Lenny Dykstra And Jose Canseco Will Fight A Celebrity Boxing Match
Just when you think Lenny Dykstra has finally drowned in life's big fat puddle of chew spit, he swims to the surface long enough to cough up just a little more of what's left of his dignity....
Oh, No. No, No, No. (Man Gets A Texans Super Bowl Champions Tattoo)
Man, Chris Brown, you are a brave, stupid man. Not only did you get a Texans logo tattooed on your arm, framed by the words "Super Bowl" XVLI Champion. But you shaded the area behind the roman numerals so you won't be able to fix it in the future. Why would you do this, Chris?...
BREAKING: ESPN's Jenn Brown Is Locked Inside A Hotel Bathroom And Is Live-Tweeting About It (UPDATED)
It's been more than 30 minutes since she called for help. We'll keep you posted. [@JennBrownESPN]...
UNC And Michigan State Will Wear Ugly Camo Uniforms In Game On Aircraft Carrier
Now is as good of a time as any to remind the world that in just a week and a half, two premier college basketball programs will be playing an actual game that will actually count on a giant aircraft carrier on the water in San Diego. And they'll be doing so, it turns out, in camouflage jerseys that...
Tony La Russa Made Up His Mind About Retiring In August
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: John Mozeliak has kept a secret since the summer....
Andre Agassi Is: Mr. T
This one comes courtesy of Dylan Stableford, Deadspin's tennis correspondent, who found it on Australian tennis coach Darren Cahill's Twitter feed. Andre Agassi seems to have borrowed Raffi Torres's burnt cork for this one. All the loving attention to detail—the darkened arms, the feather dangling f...
A Muppet Interfered On WWE Raw Last Night
Back in the early 90s, wrestling was criticized as being for kids. Characters were cartoonish, issues were black and white, storylines were g-rated. Then the Attitude Era came, and realism and edginess were prized. In 2011, Beaker helps an Italian stereotype win a match....