up Page 712 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Evening: Watch Poor Ortis Deley Become The Laughingstock Of The World
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 31, the day we learned Bob's erection took on the consistency of Silly Putty. [Deley Video from SportsTvJobs/Deley's storybook firing here.] Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Kansas State's EcoKat Mascot Will Reduce Energy Usage And Humiliate The School
The Kansas State administration may need a refresher in the 2011 version of "braggin' rights." The school is taking on rival Kansas in something called the Take Charge! Challenge, which aims to increase recycling and conservation efforts at the two institutions....

BEARS!!! At The Rangers Game, Yo
Your morning roundup for Aug. 31, the day we spent way too much time reading about the Yarn Harlot's visit to this year's Sock Summit. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. [Photo: MOCKSESSION, obvs.]...

SF Giants Payroll Manager Caught Embezzling After She Gave Herself A $300k World Series Bonus Despite Her $80k Salary
File this one under stupid (alleged) criminals who are also world champions: The KGO-TV I-Team has more....

Miami Players Who Got Cash And Cars From Nevin Shapiro May Have To Pay Benefits Back In Bankruptcy Court
Oh, boo. Not only is this gang of Miami players being unfairly scapegoated for violating silly rules of a bloated, ineffective system—now they might have to give back the rewards they got....

Why The 1991 Saints Dropped Their Lame "Cha-Ching" Catchphrase
The New Orleans Saints won their first division title in 1991, which is weird both because the Saints had been around for more than two decades before that point and because the 1991 Saints were a weird team. They were 11-5. Steve Walsh and Bobby Hebert split time at QB, and neither played well. Gil...

Gilbert Arenas Deletes Account After Twitter Fight, Depriving World Of Free Sneakers And Sexism
We'll say this about Gilbert Arenas's Twitter account, which was taken down some time today: it wasn't boring, like LeBron James's worthless feed, and it wasn't used for incessant self-promotion, like, well, every pro athlete ever. It was just sort of obsessed with sneakers and almost criminally off...

I-Team: Help Us Identify The Poor Woman Who Was Hit In The Face With A Baseball
We led off this morning with a photo of the woman who had the misfortune of having a foul ball ricochet off her face at last night's Yankees-Orioles game. We hear she (thankfully) has not been seriously injured. But we'd like your assistance in identifying who she is. Video of the incident is abov...

Watch The Stanley Cup Fall Down Go Boom, Get Dented
Just another battle scar for the old girl, who's seen plenty of dings and feces in her lifetime. The Cup was in St. John's, Newfoundland, preparing for its helicopter trip to Michael Ryder's hometown of Bonavista. After Ryder set it down on a table (with official NHL tablecloth), the whole damn thin...

Eric Chavez Can't Quite Make The Save
Your morning roundup for Aug. 30, the day we still couldn't score seats at Fenway. Photo via tipster Adam. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Evening: Brad Marchand Knows Kris Draper's Daughter Once Pooped In The Stanley Cup, Right?
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 29, the day we first heard your college actually existed. Photo via Puck Daddy. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Mets Fans Now Being Hunted Down Like Dogs, By Dogs
Flushing, as a neighborhood, has a decidedly unappealing name. But Citi Field isn't actually located in Flushing. Surrounded by a bay, two freeways and a park, the Mets share their parcel of land with the little-known, less-loved neighborhood of Willets Point. With a permanent population of one, Wil...

Nice Backpack, Rookie
Your morning roundup for Aug. 29, the day we learned stale beer works wonders as a wood polish. Photo of Padres rookie Anthony Bass via Big League Stew. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Stories That Don’t Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Sports Exile
Plaxico Burress is catching TDs for the Jets. The U may never play football again. Terrelle Pryor, who was ready to sit for a year, just finished his first NFL practice. With exiles starting, ending, and being averted, here are some great reads about players and coaches on the outs with the game tha...

Brave TV Reporter Gets A Mouthful Of Sewage-Seasoned Sea Foam To Seize The Big Story
Your morning roundup for Aug. 28, the day we give a shout out to aquatic fleas. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. (Want more Tucker Barnes? Here.)...

Let's Watch Cesc Fabregas Score His First Highlight-Reel Goal For Barcelona
Your morning roundup for Aug. 27, the day Chevy Chase's resurgence finally got to Dan Aykroyd, but not necessarily to Bill Murray, because Bill Murray knows he's better than Ghostbusters 3. This, because he unequivocally is. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Cockblocked By Lovesickness!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Your Collection Of "What If White Michael Vick Were..." Photoshops
Yesterday, in its infinite wisdom, ESPN gave us White Michael Vick. We're still not sure entirely why, although it "got people talking" in the way that most silly ESPN things do. It also got the crafty minds of the internet a-Photoshoppin'. Here are some of our favorites, though you should send othe...

Perhaps Bengals Fans Would Be Happier If They Were To Follow Carson Palmer's Lead
It's August 26, the day we keep hearing something about a hurricane that's apparently headed for New York City. Photo courtesy Trey, via @sportsfeeder1. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Boise State Will Allow Detroit High School To Have Blue Turf As Long As They Don't Call It "Blue Turf"
Boise State is very particular about their turf, which is blue, and the name of their turf ("blue turf"), because no one in college football has turf quite like them (in that their turf is blue). Most turfs, you see, are green....