up Page 733 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Today's The Day Baseball Fans Everywhere Except Pittsburgh Dream Of World Series Victory
Your morning roundup for March 31, the day a Bellaire, Ohio chair mourns the obese man who sat upon it for the past two years, leaving more than skin behind....

Broken, Bitter Isiah Thomas Still Loves The Game
Loves basketball. Wants to be in it forever. Not so much love for his once and future rivals, Jordan, Bird, Magic....

Jose Canseco's Latest Tragicomedy Plays Out On Boston Radio
The controversy over Jose Canseco's no-show at one of his silly celebrity boxing matches has reached almost a full week of coverage thanks to the public piss-off between Jose and promoter Damon Feldman. Did Jose knowingly dick over the fight promoter and send his twin brother Ozzie to fight for him...

VCU Has Now Forced Its Unbearable Victory Song Upon Us
Your morning roundup for March 30, the day Peter Venkman signed on to play FDR....

Out-Of-Date Fantasy Advice From Someone Who Isn't Really Paying Attention
If you take fantasy sports seriously, you read the experts. Disclaimer: I am not an expert, but I will write about fantasy sports anyway. And if you want to win your leagues handily, I can't think of a better advisor than someone who only stays half aware of what's actually happening in sports. So w...

Chad Ochocinco's Soccer Career Gets Shown A Red Card
Your morning roundup for March 29, the day we got arrested for going helicopter waterskiing....

VCU Students Need To Step Up Their 'Riots'
Virginia Commonwealth is celebrating their upset in the time-honored small school way: causing more mischief than destruction (that's fire extinguisher smoke, not tear gas). Fans jammed Richmond's Broad Street, and even had an old fashionedwelcome-the-team-back-from-the-airport pep rally. I won't ...

VCU Has No Business In The Final Four, And We're Glad They're Here
Last week at this time, we were laughing at the Big East for being a weak conference, despite all the late winter talk about it being the best in college basketball. The evidence proffered was the number of teams left in the tournament. By that logic, the best conferences in college basketball at th...

The Weeping Kansas Jayhawk, In Happier Times
Your morning roundup for March 28, the day Lindsay became the artist formerly known as Lindsay Lohan....

Let's Start The Day With A Story About Kindness
Your morning roundup for March 27, the day people continue to concern themselves with Dennis W. Peterson losing his front teeth at a Hooters....

Richmond Fought The Good Fight Against Kansas Until The Game Started
Your morning roundup for March 26, when James Corley of Conroe, Texas mulls the misfortune of not stopping after his 15th DUI conviction. Now, he'll have 99 years to practice counting to 1,030....

Cockblocked By The Evening News!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

When An Adorable Dog Interrupts A Soccer Game, All You Can Really Do Is Rub His Tummy
Sky Blue FC and LdB Malmo played for the title in the Alanya International Women's Tournament of Champions last week, and the game was interrupted by an adorable dog that just wanted to roll around in the grass. Before a stadium official could get all Moreno on the pup, it made a streaker-worthy e...

Jimmer Left The Court With A Bandage On His Chin, But Kyle Singler Probably Saw His Mom Crying
Your morning roundup for March 25, the day rockhopper penguins fight for their oil-slicked lives....

Identity Of The Lady Who Bared Her Rump For All To See In The Seventies Is Finally Exposed
Your morning roundup for March 24, the day an 8.5-point underdog taps into its inner Jersey Shore, all Socs-versus-Greasers style....

Update: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is Now $118.01
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services....

Pat Riley Dance Party!
These are so stupid, we know. And they amuse only us. But damned if we can help ourselves from taking a snippet of video of Pat Riley dancing at a Heat rally and put it toward our own selfish editing purposes....

Qataris Develop Artificial Cloud To Keep Pitch Cool During World Cup
Qatar 2022 will undoubtedly see at least 15 times more pissing and moaning than we had to endure during the South African World Cup last year, but if even half the technology proposed for the games comes to light, it'll remain a fantastic spectacle....

If There's A Lockout, Charlie Batch Could Lose His Super Bowl Rings
Batch declared bankruptcy in December, and his creditors now have the option of seizing the property he used as collateral to secure his debt. That includes "a 2006 Kawasaki personal watercraft, and sports memorabilia and jewelry." Among that, his two Super Bowl rings, as well as his collection of a...

Derrick Rose Made This Young Hawks Fan Cry
Your morning roundup for March 22 23, the day Glenn Beck contemplated launching his own channel, and we all contemplated launching ourselves off bridges....