up Page 817 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Cowboys Apologize in Advance for Any Illusion of Competition
The Dallas Cowboys have fallen behind by... let's see now... 312098398219031-3 at the end of the third. Baltimore and Miami continue to battle for the remaining AFC spots....

And Wayne Fontes Thought Perfection Was 8-8
The Detroit Lions showed true devotion to the perfectly awful cause today while the rest of the NFL North showed why they should consider CFL applications. Or maybe KFC applications....

Also, Both Are Mostly Seen in Parades Now and Seem Far Less Animated
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It's Hard to Ride Off Into the Sunset on the West Coast
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Happy Holidays From The 1986 Dallas Cowboys
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call needs your help. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....

"And What Do You Want For Christmas, Little Girl?"
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Your Trickster Magic Will Not Work On TCU
Boise State won a nation's heart with laterals and sorcery two years ago, but their days as adorbable indie princess underdogs are over....

Mike Tomlin Thinks Your Holiday Gimmicks Are Stupid And Tiresome
Apparently, Steelers coach Mike Tomlin's harmless "if it will get you out of here" to this man dressed in a red suit has resulted in this AP story making him out to be a joyless anti-Santa. It's purely coincidental Steelers announced that there will be no more visits from Santa during press conferen...

Happy Birthday, Kige Ramsey
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Do Not Watch Unless You Feel Like Screaming
This is from this past weekend's New Orleans bowl, where Southern Miss receiver DeAndre Brown's leg just...stopped working. Brown is 6-6, 230 pounds of can't-miss NFL prospect. Amazingly, after successful surgery on Sunday night to repair the "clean break", he still might not miss anytime in 2009....

Sweet, Cold Chicago
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The Curious Case Of Britt Barefoot
Do you think Britt Barefoot really wanted to be a kicker or was he simply forced into it because of his all-too appropriate last name?...

Jeff Garcia Gets Rattled (and Bloodied) By The Rush
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call needs your help. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call. Tough day for the Buccaneers, whose playoff chances just became more difficult courtesy of the surging San Diego Chargers. Tough day for Jeff ...

Queer Eye For The Snow Guy
This is clearly the best snowman ever built, anywhere; it looks exactly like its subject. I just pray that the guy in the Lofa Tatupu jersey isn't preparing to affix a second carrot....

That's One Hell of a Right Jab
This picture comes from earlier today when umpire Garth DiFelice defended himself from a charging Kenneth Darby with a textbook right cross jab to the chin. Or at least that's the way it looks to me....

The Raiders Still Have Some Fight In Them
The Raiders, the Redskins, and some teams that actually still matter at this point in the season....

0-15? Yes, They Can!
• New Orleans vs Detroit: You know what was "a Brees", Detroit Free Press headline writers? The Saints' beatdown of your winless Lions. Drew has thrown for two touchdowns, and well over 300 yards....

Chad Pennington Is Handsome, Accurate
Updates on all of the early games, including a shootout between the Dolphins and Chiefs....

Former 'Boys Great; Today's Team, Not So Much
Don't let the happy look on the faces of former Cowboys Michael Irvin and Emmitt Smith fool you, last night in Dallas felt more like a funeral than a celebration....

Warren Sapp's Birthday: Cake and Cheerleaders
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