up Page 824 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Why Can't NFL Fans Celebrate Like That?
To my knowledge there haven't been any delightful female-on-female celebrations in the stands at today's NFL games, but as we all know the real action takes place in the Carolina bathrooms. Fortunately the games themselves have produced their own entertainment, unlike your average Big 10 game. New ...

David Stern Invites Seattle to Watch Their Ex-Girlfriend With New Boyfriend
On the weekend before the NBA finally returns to action after its six-week sabbatical after the NBA Finals, we must take one more moment to remember one city that will not be joining the rest of us in our journey this season as Oklahoma City tries to pretend they can support both an NBA franchise an...

Um, What The Hell, Patriots Fans?
Sorry to start your day off on the wrong foot, but several people have sent this in; a fan at the Monday Night game in Foxboro last night purportedly wearing blackface. I guess that's what this is — a closer shot is shown following the jump — although I'm no expert on such matters. Would Ted Danson ...

Janikowski Beats The Jets, The Undefeated Titans And Those Amazing Rays
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....

Lazy Sunday
The Packers will keep pace with the Bears in the NFC North. Green Bay has managed to all but shut down Reggie Wayne and Marvin Harrison today, although Dominic Rhodes filled in nicely for the injured Joseph Addai (pronounced "Add-ee-ay", if you're Jeremy Piven). Manning threw a late pick on the goa...

I Think She's Mocking The Way You're Lying On The Couch
You remember that "Favre who?" sign you drew up at the beginning of the year when Green Bay started 2-0, only to shove it back in your closet after they lost 3 in a row? Well, it might be time to take it back out and dust if off, because Aaron Rodgers is looking sharp today! The Colts offense spent ...

Moving into the Late NFL Afternoon
All of the early games are final, and here are your scores: Bills (23) - Chargers (14) Panthers (30) - Saints (7) - There was fear that Reggie Bush's knee injury might be season-ending, but such talk was reportedly premature. Bears (48) - Vikings (41), Steelers (38) - Bengals (10) - Hey, Chad Johns...

Through Daylight and Through Darkness, the Cheerleading Shall Continue
• San Diego at Buffalo: As reader The Fan's Attic points out, the important thing to remember here, kids, is that despite the numerous power outages in the arena during this game, the suggestive dancing never stopped: "Bills cheerleaders continued their routines along the sidelines." USA! USA! USA!...

The NFL - Now With Rouges!
ESPN screw-up aside, there is a wild, wild game going on in the Windy City. The Bears lead the Vikings 27-24 in the third. Chicago's D has already scored two touchdowns, and Chester Taylor stole a TD from Adrian Peterson's fantasy owners just before the half. Blocked punts and field goals are every...

NFL Update
The games are still in their relative infancy, but here's what's going on so far... • New Orleans at Carolina: The Saints' Mike Karney carried the pigskin for a TD, and the Panthers put three points on the scoreboard early on courtesy of John Kasay's foot. Jonathan Stewart has given Carolina a 10-7...

Bonnie Bernstein's Legs Open Momentarily; DVR's Perk Up
On Tuesday morning's First Take, in the first hour (at about the :39 minute mark), many readers alerted us to what transpired. And what happened, friends, was Bonnie Bernstein momentarily forgetting that she was wearing a skirt on television, and when she adjusted herself, well, let's just say that...

Scoop Jackson Would Like To Get Real With You For A Minute
Buried at the bottom of Page 2 today is a clarification from columnist Scoop Jackson, who caused a veritable shitstorm thanks to his B.J. Upton column, when he haphazardly implied that Upton's laziness was a reason for young African-Americans to look up to him. Not really what he meant, of course, b...

Stink Goes Off, Bowden's Speeches And The Rays....Wait A Tic....
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....

Scoop Jackson's Column Continues to Offend; Jason Whitlock Demands Swift Editorial Execution
Scoop Jackson has once again sparked the ire of, oh, lots of people with this latest ESPN2 column about the Tampa Bay Rays’ B.J. Upton. In it, Jackson praises Upton as the one MLB player who can “bring the game back to the hood” while using some undermining and preposterous logic to substantiate his...

Vince Young Would Like You To Know That It's All The Media's Fault
Vince Young wanted to get a few things off his chest on Wednesday; first and foremost that all the controversy surrounding him — specifically his famous meltdown during Week 1 — was largely a creation of the media. Oh, and also that he's a humble guy. No, make that, a great, great humble guy. ...

T.O. Still Loves Pacman, Clinton Got Big Timed By Alexander And The Phillies Celebrate
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....

You Can Take Our 240 Gallons Of Booze, But You'll Never Take Our Freedom!
How to describe the Tartan Army, the kilt-clad fans of the Scottish national soccer team? This photo should give you a taste. But wait, that depicts only two or three drunken Scotsmen. For a true depiction of these dedicated fans, one should read the following account of a police crackdown prior to ...

Pacman Out, Roy Williams In And The Rays Win Game Four Of The ALCS
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....

Economic Meltdown Provides Small Silver Lining Seattle Sonics Fans
In these troubled times that we live in, people need to focus on the little things that help get them through their day. The laughter of a child, the good health of loved ones, and the delicious schadenfreude of watching greedy corporate bastards lose a billion dollars or so right after stealing you...

The 'Boys New QB, The Rays And Phils Win Stunners And The Browns Own Eli
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....