up Page 833 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Monday Cricket Update; And It Ain't Pretty
I'm told that this is newsworthy but I'm in a little over my head here. Anybody out there speak cricket? Supposedly some team of 11-year-olds in Britain got thrashed so completely that all of Europe is talking about it, but I have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. Was it worse than this...

For The First Time, You Can Bet On A Gay Sports Event
Call it either a leap forward for equality in gay sports, or just the last refuge for the helplessly addicted gambler, but for the first time, you can bet on a gay sporting event....

Somebody Has Been Watching "Rookie Of The Year"
Yesterday during the NCAA Super Regional, UC Irvine got out of a base loaded jam in the 7th inning against LSU by pulling the Hidden Ball Trick, which is best known to people of my generation from the movie Rookie of the Year, which also taught us that pitchers got big butts. Except UC Irvine didn't...

The Red Wings Are Taking Good Care Of Lord Stanley's Cup
The Detroit Red Wings have been partying it up with their newly acquired Stanley Cup, taking it to defenseman Chris Chelios' downtown Detroit restaurant for a night of boozing. Play nice with her, fellas. Oop. Too late. You already damaged it. Busted Coverage has a short recap of some of the revelry...

Jesus Sportsblogging Christ, I Hate This Ad
Forgive the momentary diversion, but I've taken as much as I can from this G2 ad and I can't takes no more. Seriously, what the fuck is the deal with this thing? The Sporting Blog had a fine piece the other week decrying the various grating NBA Playoff commercials that are quickly driving us to self...

Loving That Stanley Cup
As is abundantly clear around here, we're hardly the biggest hockey experts, but we're still human, which means we really love the Stanley Cup Trophy. So rarely is any piece of hardware treated with such reverence; heck, in baseball, they try to hump the damn trophy....

WHIP It Good, Folks: Fantasy Baseball Continues Unabated
Good news for everyone who likes the fantasy baseball; the Supreme Court has decided not to hear a case filed by MLB (and the Players Association) that would require independent vendors to pay for the use of their statistics....

Enterprising Red Wings Fan Finds Clever Way To Give The Penguins More Money
19-year-old Zach Smith, native of Cleveland but lover of the Red Wings, devised an ingenious scheme that would not only allow him to throw an octopus on the ice of Mellon Arena last night before Game 4 but still be able to watch the game after he got tossed. His very canny, super savvy plan: buy an...

If R. Kelly Should Be On Trial For Anything, It's Inspiring This
The MERKIN mercilessly turns out attention to this spoof of R. Kelly's "Ignition" honoring the Red Wings' Henrik Zetterberg. Does this mean he pees on girls, too? ...

About Last Night...
What you missed while being COVERED IN BEES!......

About Last Night
What you missed while visiting the no-longer-leaning Tower of Pisa ... • NBA: Due to some sort of mixup, Celtics and Pistons combine for more than 200 points. Boston 106, Detroit 102. • NHL: Penguin Lust ... they're going cracy for Crosby! Pittsburgh 3, Detroit 2. • MLB: Chase Utley commands the ele...

To Watch Tonight
Jesus is guest-hosting Are You Smarter Than A Fifth-Grader this week! ... • MLB: Los Angeles Dodgers at Chicago Cubs (8 p.m., ET). I plan to switch back and forth between the two broadcasts on every pitch. [ESPN2 and WGN] • NBA: Eastern Conference finals, Game 5, Detroit at Boston (8:30 p.m., ET). B...

Careful, It's Slippery
This angle, for which I am ever thankful the morning after, is not the greatest; CBC's camera had a better view, combined with two men sitting on the ice a couple feet away wearing Red Wings apparel, laughing their octopi-molesting asses off. At first I thought those two seedy Michiganders had somet...

Who Wants A Trophy-Shaped Cup? (Cup-Shaped Trophy?)
There once was a man by the name of Stanley, who decided that average trophies were not good enough for hockey teams, so he went and sculpted a cup based on a napkin drawing by Nigel Tufnel. The trophy was supposed to be 35 feet tall, but he got his inches and feet mixed up....

The Bus Needs Directions to the Stanley Cup Finals
The Deadspin Stanley Cup Finals Preview is brought to you by the five former Mouseketeers at Melt Your Face Off. And no, neither Britney nor Lindsay would give them the time of day....

There's No Reason That Random Urinalysis Can't Be Fun
Barry Bonds may be gone, but as penance for profiting over his steroid-soaked home run record chase, I think the Giants should have to dump Lou Seal and adopt a new mascot. Meet Petey P. Cup, who not only charms young and old with his playful urine-related antics, but serves as a sober reminder of b...

Jose Canseco Is Anxiously Awaiting YOUR Email
Not only could you be living in Jose Canseco's home two months from now (it's being foreclosed), but you can stop by and punch him in the mouth to boot. As we learned yesterday, Canseco is promoting a boxing event in Atlantic City, and is currently looking for an opponent to meet him in the ring. Ye...

Could This Guy Be The NBA's Rally Monkey?
We can't thank The Sports Hernia enough for this beautiful photo of a Celtics fan drawing unnecessary attention to his own toupee. We've always taken a lot of pride in our ability to spot toupees ... but this one required no specific expertise....

Super Blogdome Returns
• Breaking out some offseason footbLOL, because it's what all the cool kids are doing. [Everyday Should Be Saturday] • Woody Paige's insecurity is showing. [Awful Announcing] • John McCain might be getting down with the sports blogosphere. [SportsByBrooks]...

Somewhere, A Haitian Boy Is Hatless
Here's a photo from a reader who found this rare, 19-0* New England Patriots Super Bowl hat at a 99-cent store in Brooklyn....