v Page 2887 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

ShortCenter: Someone Will Pay Albert Pujols A Shitload Of Money, Buster Olney Reports From Sad Hotel Lobby
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

The Foolproof Way To Find Out How Many Women Wear Thongs
Your morning roundup for Dec. 7, the day we learned the alien search is back on. Photo via Fox DC. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Electroshock Gimmick Makes Boring Norwegian Soccer Match Oddly Entertaining
"Shocking scenes unraveled before the eyes of Norwegian television viewers last week during a football match between rival television stations. An already tense atmosphere was given an extra charge on TV2's Golden Goal when the show's two presenters were armed with remote control electric shock ki...

Let's Watch A Guy Lose Four Teeth To A Cricket Ball
Meet Keegan Meth, who was just named "South African Airways Bowler of the Year" this week. Back in August, he was bowling for Zimbabwe in its cricket match versus Bangladesh when batsman Nasir Hossain's ball hit him square in the face....

This Pretty Remarkable Goal Allowed Marseille To Advance To The UEFA Knock-Out Stage
"Mathieu Valbuena's late winner sealed a stunning comeback from Marseille in a 3-2 win against Borussia Dortmund to book the French side's place in the last 16 of the Champions League. ... Jakub Blaszczykowski and Mats Hummels put Dortmund in front at the break but Loic Remy and Andre Ayew drew Ma...

Nebraska's Star Volleyball Player Gets Off Easy For Hitting A Motorcyclist While Driving Suspended
Considering that I've chronicled 2,119 hit-and-runs across the country since last January, the stories — to a certain extent — have stopped shocking me. That whole numbing-effect thing....

This Video Ensures That Nobody On The Face Of The Earth Will Ever Mess With Tiffany Again (NSFW)
The description of this here "Pimp gets bitchslapped by his Slut whore" video reads as follows:...

Jay Bilas Brings It Straight From The Hood
ESPN basketball analyst and Duke graduate Jay Bilas sought assistance from "urban philosopher" Young Jeezy while breaking down Missouri's ability to score on Villanova during tonight's Jimmy V Classic game at Madison Square Garden. He's just keeping it real. [ESPN]...

Weatherman Vowed To Wear Wife's Colts Panties If They Lost To The Patriots
Jim Kosek, an eager piece of on-air talent for AccuWeather in central Pennsylvania, apparently likes to start sentences with "Anyhoo." Which is especially rich when the sentence goes on to describe his wife's fandom for the Indianapolis Colts and how he'll wear her panties to work if they lost the...

Jared Allen Told Ray Edwards, "I'm Going To Punch You Square In Your Wiener, Dude" Before Punching Him Square In The Wiener
Maybe you've seen the video circulating this week that shows Minnesota's Jared Allen punching Atlanta's Ray Edwards directly in the crotch during the Falcons' 24-14 win in Week 12. If not, here it is, and here's Allen's frank explanation of the incident from today's episode of PFT Live:...

Barry Zito Ties The Knot, Looks Ridiculous In Wedding Photo
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...

Are You Ready For This Mustache?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Would Brett Favre Take A Phone Call From The Ice Capades? "I Don't Want To Go Into Hypotheticals," Agent Says
We put in another call to Brett Favre's agent, Bus Cook, this morning. Upon hearing that I was calling from Deadspin, he let out a long sigh, but was gracious enough to stay on the phone. In an effort to expand on ESPN's report from Monday—in which ESPN established via anonymous source that Brett Fa...

BCS Head: "Once Again, The BCS Has Delivered"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Bill Hancock gives his unbiased opinion of the BCS bowls....

Orlando Magic CEO Steps Down, Allegedly After A Late Night Drunk Dial To Dwight Howard
Dwight. Dwight, are you awake? Pick up, man. Dwight, man, I shouldn't be calling you. My buddy says it's too late to be calling anyone, but I just had to tell you. I..love you, Dwight. You're one of my best friends. You know that? I never told anyone that, but you are like the greatest guy....

This Raised Arm Drew A Celebration Penalty And Cost A High School Team The Championship
With time running out in the Massachusetts Division 4A championship game, Cathedral High's Matthew Owens ran the QB keeper. Rolling to his right, Owens blew through the defense and sprinted 56 yards for the go-ahead score. He handed the ball to the ref, and that's when he saw the yellow flag....

Dion Phaneuf's Dad Gets High Fives After His Son Decapitates A Ranger
The NHL's radical realignment means four conferences that will need names, so how about the Michael Sauer Memorial Conference after the late Rangers defenseman, taken in the prime of his life by this clean hit from last night. Just kidding! He's not dead. He's being evaluated by doctors with an "u...

ShortCenter: Coming To You Live From The Los Angeles Lakers' Dreamscape
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Call This Number If You Think You Can Beat Some Guy In <em>R.B.I. Baseball</em>
Your morning roundup for Dec. 6, the day we learned the word "vivisepulture." Photo via Kotaku. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

David Lee Watched Phil Hellmuth Play Poker Into The Wee Hours Last Night
Tipster Calvin writes in, frankly:...