v Page 3005 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It's A Laugh Riot When A Child Drives A Golf Ball Straight Into Commentator's Genitals
As he prepared to stand before some preteens at the Dallas-area J. Erik Jonsson Community School, CBS golf reporter (and former pro) David Feherty noted that "I still have my dignity."...

We Are All Dave McKenna XXIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit dissipates like any financial worry No. 23 DeAngelo Hall had when Danny Boy signed him to a six-year, $54 million deal in 2009....

The Detroit Pistons Went With A Malcontent-Free Six-Man Roster Last Night
Your morning roundup for Feb. 26, the day San Francisco starts looking for messages in the snow....

Voodoo Sex Ritual Starts Fire? Voodoo Sex Ritual Starts Fire.
Flatbush, Brooklyn. A woman in need of luck. A holy man in need of $300. Voodoo sex ritual....

Enter Madness: Jimmer Fredette And Four More Will Play At San Diego State Tomorrow
The two greatest phenomena of this year's college basketball season, BYU folk hero Jimmer Fredette and 27-1 San Diego State University, will play tomorrow at 2 p.m. EST in San Diego's Viejas Arena. And not to cause one of those "ohmygodit'smaypril!" moments for you, but March begins on Tuesday, and...

The Smart Way To Expand The NFL Season: 18 Weeks, Not 18 Games
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard Sports Analysis Collective. Today: Why a second bye week makes sense....

A Case Of Mistaken Snyder
We have for you this morning an amusing tale from D.C. Sports Bog about another Dan Snyder, a man who now lugs around the burden of a besmirched name:...

Jonny Gomes Would Prefer Not To Get Drilled In The Temple, Thank You
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the dancing was completely unrelated to Wainwright's injury....

We Are All Dave McKenna XXII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit vanishes like a childish dot-com lottery winner's sense of decency after striking it rich. Today we give you the wondrous Gene Weingarten on the ma...

Pacman Jones Wears A Neck Brace To Court, Has His "Life In Order," Gets A Year Probation
Your morning roundup for Feb. 25, the day you can feel safer because the Army may have used mind-control ops to persuade U.S. Senators to throw more war-bucks and war-flesh their way....

Exonerated Duke Lax Player Disputes $6.5 Million Tax Bill
The federal taxman says Reade Seligmann, he of the Duke wrongful-rape-accusation scandal, owes the IRS $6,492,377 million in income tax. The income in question came from 2007, which is the same year Seligmann et al reached a settlement with the school to "eliminate the possibility of future litigat...

Everything Right With Soccer, In Three Minutes Of Incredible Non-Dives
Technically, Barcelona and Argentina forward Lionel Messi dove a few times, in a literal sense, as he was hip-checked, tripped up and otherwise impeded by lesser talents. Problem is, Messi missed several opportunities to flail about to pad his stat sheet. He is the Best Soccer Player On Earth....

Kato Kaelin Sold O.J. Out On "The View" Today
For some reason or another, the Barbara Walters damegaggle decided to put O.J. Simpson's old house guest, Kato Kaelin, on television this morning. Seems as if they presumed people wanted to know where he is now. And hot damn, he's rocking. Says his life has been "crazy great" since the Packers won...

Rex Ryan Has Guaranteed A Super Bowl Win Twice Since The Last Super Bowl, 18 Days Ago
The 2010 NFL season ended a full 18 days ago, and it's already day one of the NFL Combine, and so it's kind of a wonder that Rex Ryan has made mere two public predictions that the New York Jets will win Super Bowl XLVI in Indianapolis. He actually "guarantees" that it will happen. But really, he "...

What Some Heavyweight Boxing Champions Do In Prison
From our random trivia department: Jack Johnson, the first black heavyweight champion of the world, wasn't merely a master of the sweet science. He also knew a thing or two about the physical sciences....

Kid Wrestler Has Mohawk, Strut, Skills
We've received two videos with "Ooh Aah" as soundtrack this week: one was this highlight compilation of Schuylerville, N.Y. kid wrestler Stevo Poulin, and one was bros in polo shirts shotgunning beers on a golf course. I'll be the first to say it: young Stevo, the first-place finisher in his class...

Verizon Wireless Store Employees Are The Devil’s Afterbirth
Yesterday I had to go to a Verizon Wireless store to get the numbers from my old phone transferred over to a phone I had just purchased. (Not an iPhone. Fuck you for owning one, Mr. I Can Afford A Data Plan.) And after 15 minutes in that fucking store, I can now say, without hyperbole, that Verizon ...

Pre-Mamba Kobe's High School Highlights, To The Tune Of "One Shining Moment"
Before Kobe Bryant was a five-time NBA champion with a shoe contract and a short film, he was just a regular high school kid who was documented by famous sports photographers on his way to class and who brought R&B stars to the prom. To remind us of that fact, someone from his alma mater, Lower Me...

Baron Davis Traded To Cleveland, Some 2,300 Miles Away From Donald Sterling's Taunts
Clippers guard Baron Davis, who has averaged 12.8 points and 7 assists this season — with some credit due to Blake Griffin's ability to finish close to the basket — is headed to Cleveland, along with a first-round draft pick. The Cavs are sending Mo Williams and Jamario Moon. Davis, who is nursing a...

We Are All Dave McKenna XXI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit vanishes like manners at a pig trough. Our installment today comes from the Washington City Paper itself, whose publisher, Amy Austin, ran a letter...