v Page 3090 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Spud Webb Asks For A Boost
Attention, Illustrator junkies. Spud Webb needs someone, anyone to design the logo for his new website. The wage may be low, but the glory will last as long as he can afford to hold onto the domain name. [Mycroburst]...

In Case You Missed The Horrible Live Chat With Sarah Silverman, Here's A Rundown
From dealing with her handlers or her publicist or assistant or handbag holder or whatever other title given to the people hired to manage Sarah Silverman's Literary Life, this live chat, dear loathsome readers, sucked....

Kid Leaps Over Catcher, Compels You To Watch A College Baseball Highlight Just This Once
This is Brian Kownacki of Fordham (Royals of the A-10) leaping over the catcher for Iona (Royals of the MAAC), capping an eight-run comeback and performing a feat last accomplished by Wesley Snipes, when he jumped over an IRS agent. [YouTube, via]...

The Clippers, In A Nutshell: Wealthy Incompetent Bickers With Wealthier Incompetent Over $6.75 Million
Mike Dunleavy claims that Clippers owner Donald "Evict the Bitch" Sterling is stiffing him out of a bunch of money that neither of them really deserves. [LAT, via Slam]...

Now's The Time To Talk To Sarah Silverman....
Sarah's down in the comments, awaiting your scorn and scrutiny. Ask her about pooping, talk about your favorite Jews, be insensitive and nasty. You know, be yourselves. Be sure to read the excerpt, buy the book, save the whales....

Excerpt From Sarah Silverman's <em>The Bedwetter</em>
The following is taken from Chapter 1 of Sarah Silverman's memoir, The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee. Chat with her in a followup post....

Sarah Silverman Will Try To Chat Live On Deadspin at 12:40ish
She needs to familiarize herself with the commenting system but, I am told, she will be ready to go at this time after a brief tutorial. Please come. Bring the usual level of displaced anger. Everyone's having fun.[TheBedwetter]...

Happy 65th Birthday, Shirtless Steve Spurrier
Right now, Spurrier is snorkeling somewhere down in the Bahamas. Judging from that photo, some lucky tropical fish are admiring his chiseled bare torso....

Who Is The <em>SportsCenter</em> Farter This Time?
During an impassioned discussion on the Cleveland Browns, someone on the SportsCenter NFL draft panel cut one, just as Mike Tirico began to giggle. Was this a laughter-induced fart or fart-induced laughter? Who is the flatulent panelist? Deadspin-I-Team, assemble. H/T Steve....

Eck
A reader sent this along claiming he could see a sliver of Eck Toe peeking out of those white shorts during this MLB Network interview (I do agree — very out of place for this segment) but I do not....

Big Ben's Woman Problems The Result Of Stunted Psychosexual Development, Says Guy Who Writes About Sports
Ben Roethlisberger mistreats women because he has "deep-seated" issues relating to his childhood separation from his mother-figure. "I think Ben needs help," writes Mike Klis of The Denver Post, who when he's not diagnosing psychosocial pathologies usually writes about the Broncos....

Mind-Altering Old Spice Clip Features Spastic Pecs Aplenty
It's Comedy Week on Deadspin, so Old Spice wants to contribute. Behold the 16-hour B.O. BLOCKING POWER in this Tim & Eric-directed spot. There's so much BLOCKING POWER that your eyes will cry tears of titanium alloy. Need we say more?...

Last Night's Winner: LeBron James, I Guess
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like "LeBrun" James, who scored many more baskets than the opposing team, so I suppose that makes him the best. If you're into that sort of thing....

It's White Supremacy Night At Safeco Field
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

DeShawn Stevenson's Horrifying Neck Tattoo Would Like To Invite You To Watch Basketball
Abe Lincoln: our 16th President. Legendary orator. Possible vampire hunter. And now he's back, in ink form, to get Mavs fans riled up. Jesus Christ, it's got teeth....

Pablo The Panda And The Worst Souvenir Ever
I want you, for a moment, to picture Pablo Sandoval's crotch. Now imagine getting smacked in the face with something that spends all day down there....

Color Me Fucking Shocked: Dick Vitale Loves Tim Tebow
You had to know Vitale would have a chubby for Tebow, the embodiment of heart. It was inevitable. The college basketball sportscaster chimes in today with an unbearable column about why Tebow should be taken high in the draft....

And Here's A Guy Getting A Handy At A Hockey Game
Not sure who deserves more props - the BU hockey fan receiving some surreptitious manual love, or the private dick who decided to record it. We'll be handing out bonus points for identifying the parties involved....

Family Rushes To Vomiting Fan's Defense In Eminently Quotable Fashion
Now I'm no Perry Mason, but I'd say that if your defense rests in part on there being a distinction between a right person and a wrong person on whom to ralph, your case is lost already....

Ryan Leaf Used To Be Carried In The Arms Of Cheerleaders, Part 782
"If I'm going to be the biggest bust, I have to own up to it. I used to go to bed at night hoping somebody else like Heath Shuler might magically leapfrog me on those all-time bust lists."[LAT]...