w Page 2968 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chicharito And Pablo Zabaleta Crack Each Other Up With Jokes They Don't Understand
For evidence of the contagious nature of laughter, just watch this video of Spanish-speaking West Ham players Javier Hernández and Pablo Zabaleta telling each other pun-heavy jokes in English. Note how they and you, the viewer, melt into giggly puddles even though they very clearly don’t have the sl...
Here Is A Short Review Of <i>The Last Jedi</i><em></em>
The Force Awakens was fun on its own merits, and thrilling in a nostalgic sort of way, and the fresh Star Wars youths were charming and compelling where they were supposed to be (Rey and Finn), and darkly charismatic where they were supposed to be (Kylo Ren), and absurdly good-looking and sexy where...
Jets Offensive Coordinator Admits He Gave Up Against Broncos
Okay, so the Jets’ offense didn’t turn out to be historically awful this season, as I said it had a chance to be. Shoot me. Hell, the Jets even have five wins, which is ... something, I guess. But it still took a grand total of 13 games for their offensive coordinator to cop to saying, Fuck it, let’...
Today In Fake Sports News: Jacksonville Jaguars Declare Bankruptcy, Because Of Thugs
If you are like most NFL fans, you were surprised to learn on Facebook yesterday—or the day before that, or last week—that a NFL team was preparing to declare bankruptcy due to, uh, the entitled and ungrateful thugs and the kneeling during the national anthem and the veterans there’s so many and you...
Both Of Herm Edwards's Coordinators Have Left After It Was Announced They'd Stay<em></em>
When Arizona State hired Herm Edwards to coach their football team earlier this month, they planned to retain both offensive coordinator Billy Napier and defensive coordinator Phil Bennett from the previous staff. It was an unusual move, since most coaching changes involve entire staffs turning over...
Georgetown Basketball's Schedule Is Very Bad
Tomorrow, the undefeated Georgetown Hoyas will play their one-time conference rival Syracuse (8-1) in Washington, D.C. It will be the first real test they’ve faced all season, considering their opponents so far have been Jacksonville (4-7), Mount St. Mary’s (3-7), Maryland Eastern Shore (3-8), Richm...
The NFL’s Concussion Protocol Can Work, But Only If It’s Enforced<em></em>
What you see above is Texans quarterback Tom Savage experiencing what’s known as the fencing response after getting his head slammed into the ground, as obvious a sign of a brain injury as there can be. His Sunday should have ended right then and there, and yet just a few minutes later, Savage retur...
I Went To A Dive Bar Wrestling Show With No Ring And Nobody Got Arrested
December is a crowded month for pro wrestling in New York City. Ring of Honor has their annual Final Battle at the Hammerstein Ballroom, Evolve and local promotion House of Glory both have major shows, WWE has its annual Christmas week event at Madison Square Garden, and so on. The weirdest event of...
Kristaps Porzingis Is Hurt, But He's Smart
Kristaps Porzingis removed himself from last night’s 111-104 win over the Nets after a non-contact injury to his left knee. He tweaked it once in the first half and then left the game in the third quarter after re-aggravating it on this play. ...
Argentine Soccer Club Suspended A Year And Relegated After Savagely Beating Three Referees
Late last month, Juventud de Pergamino hosted Independiente de Chivilcoy in an Argentine lower-division match. During the game, the head referee showed a Juventud player a justified red card. This event sparked a massive brawl in which a number of Juventud players and fans attacked the three referee...
Skeleton Rider Messes Up Immediately
Alexander Tretiakov is one of the best skeleton riders in the world, but he will not be in Pyeongchang. His 2014 gold medal was stripped for doping, and he was banned from all future Olympics. So today’s IBSF World Cup race in Innsbruck, Austria, might just have been his last chance at a major medal...
Brook Lopez And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Second Quarter
Yes, yes, you’re probably more interested in LeBron vs. Lonzo (James 25-12-12 despite a slightly off shooting night, and tied Larry Bird for sixth all-time with his 59th triple-double; Ball’s was overall very good, with 13 points, 11 assists, and eight boards, but six turnovers), or what James said...
Hawks Fan Uses Eccentric Form To Win $10,000 On Half-Court Shot
A fan sank a half-court shot during tonight’s Hawks-Pistons game by just heaving it with a technique vaguely reminiscent of what one might use to toss a shot put—and you know what, it worked out just fine, and he won $10,000 for it, so you can’t really make fun of him for it! Them’s the rules....
Brandon Williams Carted Off Field; Has Pre-Existing Spinal Condition<em></em>
Colts tight end Brandon Williams was carted off the field at the start of the second quarter tonight. While the play responsible was not itself anything especially out of the ordinary, Williams has spinal stenosis, which can make any football injury scary and ended his college career when he was dec...
Ghost Of Lleyton Hewitt Will Play Australian Open
Lleyton Hewitt, two-time Grand Slam singles winner and former No. 1, “retired” from tennis after playing his 20th Australian Open back in 2016. He entered Wimbledon doubles as a wild card later that year, but since then his public appearances on a tennis court have largely been limited to captainin...
A Bonus Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
Hello again. Earlier this week we all gathered round the wassail to roast the goofiest items in this year’s Williams-Sonoma catalog. HOWEVER, it was a really thick catalog this year, and there simply wasn’t enough room in print for EVERY ridiculous item featured. Especially the champagne saber. So, ...
Michigan State Can't Bury Its Role In The Largest Sex Abuse Scandal In Sports History<em></em>
This past March, Michigan State University trustee Joel Ferguson told Michigan’s WXYZ-TV that “MSU is going to look great” after an internal investigation into how the school handled sexual assault allegations against Larry Nassar. For all that we still do not know about Nassar’s crimes or the insti...
How Steven Seagal Became A Useful Puppet For Post-Soviet Dictators
On a crisp November morning in Moscow, Steven Seagal found himself within the walls of the Grand Kremlin Palace, seated across from Vladimir Putin, the most powerful man in the Russian Federation. Dressed in a blood-red kimono and black trousers—a throwback to his days as a martial artist—Seagal obs...
Seahawks' Malik McDowell During Arrest: "Bitch, I Got Lawyer Money"
Seattle Seahawks rookie defensive lineman Malik McDowell, who has yet to play in the NFL due to injuries from an ATV accident in July, was arrested in Atlanta last weekend for disorderly conduct. TMZ got the bodycam video from his arrest, and it’s not great:...
This Andy Benoit Take About Russell Wilson Is So Fucking Stupid I Want To Die
You might remember Sports Illustrated’s resident tape-eater Andy Benoit from the time he proudly listed 15 backup stiffs better than Colin Kaepernick (and unironically included the likes of Brock Osweiler), or the time he said the Browns weren’t a joke because he watched the film on them, or the tim...