w Page 3004 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Alex Ovechkin Opens The Year In Style
Alex Ovechkin only needed one period yesterday to complete a feat that no NHL player had accomplished in 100 years, scoring three quick goals in the first period against Montreal to open the season with a nearly unprecedented two hat tricks in two games....
Don't Do It! Don't Do It!
Oh, you doubt Rashaad Penny’s Heisman bona fides?...
It's The Rare Double-Clutch Extra Point Attempt
Utah lost anyway, but at least they made things interesting in the process....
Here Is How To Turn Victory Into Defeat In 99 Yards
Miami U. has been the MAC’s punching bag for a decade, but the hapless RedHawks had a chance to beat a very bad BGSU team with a first-and-goal from the one and less than two minutes left in the game. Miami did not win, because they fumbled and allowed the Falcons’ Brandon Harris to take it the leng...
Sad-Sack Airport Bozos Want To Protest Super Bowl Flights Because Of Anthem Protests
Members of the administrative commission of dipshit also-ran-ass airport Brainerd Lakes Regional reportedly spoke out against NFL anthem protests Thurdsay, while discussing air travel contingencies for the 2018 Super Bowl, to be held in Minneapolis. This world is a goddamn toilet....
Oklahoma Upset By 31-Point Underdog Iowa State
Baker Mayfield and the third-ranked Oklahoma Sooners were upset this afternoon by unranked Iowa State, a 31-point underdog, after the Cyclones outscored the Sooners 25-7 in the second half....
The Nats Wasted A Brilliant Night From Stephen Strasburg, Because Of Course They Did
There is nothing more frustrating on earth than watching a lineup featuring Trea Turner, Bryce Harper, Anthony Rendon, Daniel Murphy, and Ryan Zimmerman get completely blanked by a guy who throws an 87 mph fastball. Unless you are a Cubs fan, in which case, screw you right in the ear....
Ghana Effectively Knocked Out Of World Cup Qualifying By Bullshit Offside Call
Raphael Dwamena’s match-winning goal with 15 seconds remaining in added time against Uganda came off the board as South African referee Daniel Bennett inexplicably ruled Dwamena to be offside, effectively eliminating Ghana from World Cup contention. ...
To Be Fair, Consuming Hallucinogens While In Toledo Is Advised
We can only assume Jay Feely is suffering from a glitch in the Matrix:...
Kirk Herbstreit Says Washington Should Be Thanking ESPN For Airing Their Games
College GameDay’s Kirk Herbstreit responded to Chris Petersen’s complaints about late-night Huskies kickoff times today, saying the Washington head coach should be thanking the Worldwide Leader for airing their games at all....
You Are Not A Catcher, Joe Girardi
That last night’s Yankees-Indians game continued for more than six innings after Lonnie Chisenhall’s phantom hit-by-pitch should not distract you from the fact that this was the moment of the game. It was. Right there, with two strikes and two outs in the bottom of the sixth inning, the Yankees were...
Lawsuit Says Nationals Hitting Coach Shared Revenge Porn; Suspended By Team
The Washington Nationals announced Friday night that they had suspended assistant hitting coach Jacque Jones with pay, pending an investigation into a “legal matter.” The announcement came a little more than a week after a lawsuit was filed in San Diego by a woman, under the name Jane Doe, who said ...
Morgan Hurd Keeps U.S. Winning Streak In Women's Gymnastics Alive
MONTREAL, Canada—Fifteen minutes before the women’s all-around final, Ragan Smith, the U.S. national champion and one of the few remaining favorites left standing—after Larisa Iordache withdrew due to an Achilles tear right before preliminaries and Rebecca Andrade of Brazil went down with an ACL inj...
Michigan Football Dismisses Defensive Back Nate Johnson After Domestic Violence Arrest
Following an arrest last weekend on a charge of misdemeanor domestic assault, Michigan football has dismissed cornerback Nate Johnson from the team. Johnson was taken to jail early Sunday morning when police were called to an Ann Arbor dorm room to investigate an alleged assault of a female student....
Christian Pulisic And The USMNT Are Destroying Panama
The USMNT needed to whoop on Panama tonight, and they got off to a thrilling start, unzipping the Panamanian defense twice in the first 20 minutes and adding a penalty right before halftime. The entire first half was a thrilling affair despite the soggy Orlando pitch, and there could have been at le...
Lionel Messi Is All Alone
It’s a funny thing, talking about what an athlete deserves. Sports are the ultimate results-oriented business, where no matter how much you love your mother or how kind and considerate you are to lovers and waiters or even how well you played in any given game, if the final whistle blows and you loo...
Edwin Encarnación Helped Off Field After Gross Ankle Injury [UPDATE]
Cleveland slugger Edwin Encarnación left today’s ALDS game against the Yankees in the first inning with help from teammates after suffering a gruesome leg injury while attempting to return to second base after a soft liner....
UFC Dickhead Allowed To Pull Off Unscrupulous Weigh-In Shenanigans
Kevin Lee, a dickhead, is scheduled to fight Tony Ferguson for the UFC’s interim lightweight title tomorrow. (The interim belt is only available because Conor McGregor is off looking at boats and pretending to be a boxer while Khabib Nurmagomedov can’t figure out his own physiology, which really say...