w Page 3009 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

FBI Docs Show The NCAA's Grisly Sausage Factory At Work In Arizona<em></em>

Paying for a top college basketball recruit can be expensive. Documents from the FBI’s investigation into the shadowy world of college basketball uncover a web of corruption, and no single transaction is more interesting than the general negotiations around how much players get paid and who pays the...

Report: Dennis Schröder Arrested On Battery Charge [Update]

According to ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski, Atlanta Hawks guard Dennis Schröder was arrested and charged with misdemeanor battery on Thursday:...

Kristaps Porzingis Is Alone In The Spotlight Now

About an hour before Carmelo Anthony was traded to the Oklahoma City Thunder, Kristaps Porzingis posted a photo of himself, earbuds in, peace sign up, announcing his return to New York....

How Can Gymnastics Escape The Curse Of The Olympic Cycle?

The World Artistic Gymnastics Championships that take place the year after the Olympics have the reputation of being something of a letdown; with the next Olympics three years away, it’s highly unlikely that you’re going to meet the sport’s next mega star there. The 2013 Championships, which marked ...

Inhale

People Can't Get Enough Of The "Hydrating Kristaps" Meme

Folks, another NBA season is upon us, and wouldn’t you know it, the sports world’s biggest meme market is heating up again. Pop quiz: do you know the hottest NBA meme right now? The answer might be Hoodie Melo. It all started after the world saw some clips of Carmelo Anthony playing basketball nicel...

Patriots Fans Gather To Burn Their Stuff

I want you to try and imagine what an aggrieved Patriots fan who is so mad about some of New England’s players kneeling for the national anthem that he threw a party for other aggrieved Patriots fans to come and burn their Pats gear might look like. Okay, do you have the image in your head?...

The Mets Are Just Messy As Hell

The Mets may have seemingly pushed dysfunction to a new level this season—poorly handled injuries, baffling management decisions, various public relations snafus—but, per a juicy new story from Marc Carig of Newsday, the situation was way worse behind the scenes....

Bad Soccer Teams Should Stop Shooting Their Own Dicks Off By Playing From The Back

Hey, shitty teams. A humble request: How about you stop giving up the easiest goals imaginable, making enormous errors in some misguided effort to play “beautiful soccer” and build up play from the back, and instead just lump the ball forward when facing your betters? This scourge must be stopped....

Louisiana High School Threatens To Punish Athletes Who Don't Stand For National Anthem

This morning, Waylon Bates, the principal of Parkway High School in Bossier Parish, La., sent a letter to the students and parents of his school warning that any athletes who did not “stand in a respectful manner” during the pre-game national anthem would be subject to disciplinary action. He made i...

Goalkeeper Gifts Arsenal A Goal With Atrocious Boner

Playing out from the back can be good. It’s great to have a goalkeeper who is good with his feet and comfortable passing the ball around with opponents zipping at him. But this kind of dicking around on the ball and giving it straight to an opponent in literally the worst area of the pitch is unforg...

Tennis Player's Creative Outburst: "I Feel Like A Nymphomaniac Is Also A Nun"

“Irritable! Irritable!” shouted Deiton Baughman during his match Wednesday against Prajnesh Gunneswaran at the ATP Challenger Tiburon. After a forehand error to lose his serve at 7-6, 4-3, Baughman thumped a ball clean out of the court, earning a code violation. But that wasn’t his most inventive ex...

The Yankees Are Doing A Fun Thing After Homers

The Yankees bopped three dongs against the Rays last night, and after each one an endearing scene played out in the dugout....

Erik Karlsson's Quotes About His New Bionic Foot Sound Kind Of Ominous

The Senators’ brand of hockey, a 1-3-1, neutral-zone clogging formation that forces the puck out wide and limits odd-man rushes at both ends of the ice, is aesthetically unappealing, to the point where you find yourself rooting against them in the postseason just so you don’t have to watch them anym...

Statue Of Ray Lewis Gets Extra Security After Real-Life Ray Lewis Gets On Both Knees For Anthem, Says Dumb Things

Well, here are several layers of shit to sift through: the Maryland Stadium Authority has increased security around the Ray Lewis statue outside the Ravens’ arena, after fans filed a petition requesting it be removed because Lewis knelt during the national anthem on Sunday. Even though Lewis has rep...

76ers Already In Midseason Form

“The process never ends,” said 76ers GM Bryan Colangelo during media day on Monday, and while those words sounded perhaps a bit conservative at the time, now that we’ve gotten a glimpse at his team in practice, Colangelo could be right....

Sounds Like The Hawks Despised Dwight Howard

Zach Lowe had Kevin Arnovitz on his podcast Tuesday to discuss the five most puzzling teams in the NBA, one of which was the Charlotte Hornets. The Eastern Conference is a lukewarm soup of bad teams, mediocre teams, and the Cavs and Celtics, which means the Hornets could plausibly finish fourth or 1...

Georges Laraque Calls Out The Penguins' Decision To Visit The White House

The Stanley Cup champion Pittsburgh Penguins decided to visit Donald Trump at the White House, in a statement that was released soon after the President uninvited the never-really-invited Golden State Warriors. Former NHL player Georges Laraque, who played for roughly two years in Pittsburgh over a...

Neymar Ignores Edinson Cavani During Goal Celebration, But I'm Sure It's Totally Fine

PSG beat Bayern Munich by a score of 3-0 in the Champions League today. Edinson Cavani scored his team’s second goal after being set up nicely by Kylian Mbappé. Here is video of that goal, which you should watch for the goal’s coolness and for Cavani’s demonstrated happiness after he scores, but you...

Can Jets Fans Name Five Jets Players?

When I set out for the Meadowlands on Sunday morning with Anders Kapur, I hoped to find tailgating Jets fans who were in a good mood. This might sound like an impossible mission—are Jets fans even capable of experiencing joy?—but my interactions with Jets fans through the years have taught me that t...