w Page 3047 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Wimbledon Doubles Point Is Basically <i>Wii Tennis</i>
If you’re used to watching singles tennis, or no tennis at all, the above may be unrecognizable....

KatyPerrysBootyHole And Wetbutt23 Broke The Jose Quintana Trade
The White Sox’s trade of starter Jose Quintana to the Cubs for four minor leaguers went down with remarkable secrecy, with no leaks and no rumors that the teams were even working on it. (It later emerged that Rick Hahn and Theo Epstein ducked backstage at the All-Star FanFest to talk business.) Wel...

Get Out Of Venus Williams's Way
The five-time Wimbledon champion played a nearly perfect match to down Britain’s Johanna Konta in straight sets and book her ninth trip to the Wimbledon final and her second major final of the year. Using ferocious body serves, judicious approach shots, and her typical powerful groundstrokes, Willia...

Wayne Rooney Scores Brilliant Goal In First Game Since Returning To Everton
Wayne Rooney, who made his mark at Everton in grand fashion at the age of 16, is back with his boyhood club after having spent the last 11 years of his career at Manchester United. Today, in a preseason friendly against Gor Mahia in Tanzania, Rooney scored a goal that, while not exactly a rival to h...

White Sox Trade Ace José Quintana To—Oh Fucking Come On
The Chicago White Sox announced today that they have traded 28-year-old ace pitcher José Quintana to the fucking Chicago Cubs, who are basically worse than the St. Louis Cardinals at this point....

Lonzo Ball Has Best Game Yet After Ditching Big Baller Brand Sneakers
Lonzo Ball returned to Las Vegas Summer League action last night, but not in his much-ballyhooed Big Baller Brand ZO2s. No, he was wearing a purple pair of Kobe A.D. sneakers. Yes, they kind of look similar to the BBB ZO2....

Wimbledon Underwear Police Are Back On Their Bullshit
Yesterday at Wimbledon, a boys’ doubles team was sent off the court to change into white underwear because their black undies apparently violated a rule at the strict All England Club that says players outfits must be “almost entirely white.” Today, tournament supervisors remained deeply interested ...

The National Marbles Tournament Has One Prize Nobody Wants<em></em>
WILDWOOD, N.J. — The beach at Wildwood is so wide, from boardwalk to surf, that we could barely see the water from where we sat on one of three empty metal bleachers in the sand surrounding the 94th (mostly) annual National Marbles Tournament. A transient parade of spectators watched from the boardw...

Floyd "Money" Mayweather Has Had Trouble Paying His Taxes On Time For Years
It came out recently that Floyd Mayweather owes the IRS a whopping $22.2 million, but documents show that that big number is the least of it. The famous boxer—who routinely brags about his wealth, and even goes by the nickname “Money”—has had trouble paying his taxes on time for more than a decade. ...

Richard Sherman: "Players Have To Be Willing To Strike"
Because the ESPYs are the only source of sports information tonight, this Richard Sherman update comes straight from the red carpet. In an interview with Jalen Rose, Sherman gave his unsurprisingly unfiltered view on the NFLPA and their need for strength in labor negotiations....

Peyton Manning Mocks Kevin Durant And Russell Westbrook For Your Enjoyment
At tonight’s sports awards show, host Peyton Manning took a soft jab at Kevin Durant’s front-running, then followed up with an appeal to KD’s former teammate Russell Westbrook. Each NBA star sold the gag with some pretty solid deadpan glares....

Taxpayer-Funded Detroit Arena Now Sports Massive, Hideous Corporate Ad
The taxpayer-funded new sports arena in Detroit that is not named after Gordie Howe unveiled a new “feature” Tuesday, one that will now dominate any aerial view of Detroit on every TV broadcast in the foreseeable future. The roof of the new arena features a gigantic, ugly logo for a third-rate pizza...

Boys' Doubles Team Forced To Change Out Of Black Underpants At Wimbledon
The dress code at Wimbledon is strict and inflexible: Outfits must be “almost entirely white,” with only a single trim of color “no wider than one centimetre,” which includes all accessories and “ny undergarments that either are or can be visible during play (including due to perspiration).” Today, ...

Don't Blow It, Fed
Just watch the ball. Ignore everything else crumbling around you....

White Sox Writer Believes Team's First Half Was Not As Bad As It Could Have Been
The Chicago White Sox are 38-49; their last game before the All-Star break was a 10-0 loss to the Colorado Rockies in which they were two outs away from getting no-hit in the most hitter-friendly ballpark in the majors. The team is last in the AL Central. Pitcher José Quintana is on the trading bloc...

Here's 20 Seconds Of Profoundly Terrible Soccer
Remember this 1993 Premier League match between Queens Park Rangers and Manchester City? Me neither, but an Italian magazine broke it down and deemed a portion of it as the worst 20 seconds of soccer ever....

Astros' Alex Bregman Deletes Account After Sending DMs To Critic
Houston Astros third baseman Alex Bregman is currently batting .256 in the majors and .000 in online fan interactions. Last weekend, Bregman was apparently searching his name on Twitter, where he seemed to have found the tweets of @AllenH83. Allen was not wholly enamored by Bregman; his tame opinion...

DeAngelo Williams Won’t Play For The Cowboys, Says Their Fans Are Insufferable
Running back DeAngelo Williams impressed wrestling fans in his debut for Impact Wrestling, but he says he’s done with the squared circle for now. With training camp rapidly approaching, Williams is looking to sign with an NFL team for the 2017 season....

Get A Stainless Steel Pan
In the abstract—which is to say, if you were an extremely rich person with an army of servants to attend to all but those parts of human life you chose to handle yourself, and therefore did not have to worry about things like cleaning and upkeep—the best kind of pan would be a well-seasoned cast iro...
