w Page 4951 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Aussie Open Is The World's Largest Frat Party
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Much More At Stake Than Super Bowl For Rex Ryan
Just got an email from Major League Eating president Rich Shea. If the Jets win Sunday, Eatapus Rex will get a seat in the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. This is all the motivation Ryan needs. (Official invite below.)...

Thunder Owner Reaches Piddly Settlement In Frivolous Lawsuit
Clay Bennett will pay Sonics season ticket holders $1.6 million (the equivalent of Kevin Ollie), because he raised the price of tickets after the team moved to Oklahoma City. I'm not sure how that works, either. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]...

Saints And Vikings Face Off — In Song! (Prince Update)
New Orleans has a rich history of zydeco, blues and jazz. Minnesota has Prince and...I dunno, The Hold Steady. But both fanbases have come out en masse to pay musical tribute to their teams....

Ferguson Jenkins Thinks Mark McGwire's Home Runs "Altered Lives"
Lots of people have leveled lots of charges at Mark McGwire over the last few years, but I'm not sure if any of them top the Fergie Jenkins theory that says McGwire ended pitchers' careers by taking them deep....

Tebows' Super Bowl Ad Will Be Carried To Term, Apparently
CBS has approved a script for that 30-second spot Tim Tebow and his mom are doing for spanky Jim Dobson's Focus on the Family. It will not have an "overt" pro-life message, MediaDailyNews reports. Get out those decoder pins! [MediaDailyNews]...

ESPN Ombudsman Ohlmeyer Blasts Alamo Bowl Coverage After Adam James Saga
"Was the telecast balanced? ESPN thinks it was — and for me, that is the most troubling aspect of this whole affair." [ESPN]...

On The Gentle Path, Too: A Dispatch From The Front Lines Of Sex Addiction
Anonymous, a porn addict, is a longtime Deadspin reader and commenter who will soon enter the same sex-rehabilitation facility where Tiger Woods is reportedly receiving treatment. Here, Anonymous explains his own addiction and why Tiger's treatment is no PR ploy....

Did The Jets' Official Store Just Jinx Itself Out Of Business?
Jets fans will surely sleep soundly knowing that their Super Bowl gear is bought and paid for before the AFC Championship game even begins. (They even changed their URL to include "champions.") Nothing can possiblie go wrong now! [JetsShop]...

Today's Phrase That Pays: "Hockey Taliban"
Comparing overly loyal hockey fans to vile religious dictators should probably not cause any problems for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette's Bob Smizik. Seriously, those people are capable of anything! (Hockey fans, I mean.) [Post-Gazette; guy who is not Taliban via]...

Last Night's Winner: Anti-Tobacco Activists
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like people who can't decide which Durham-area basketball team they hate more. The Tar Heels or the Dukies? Now it's easier than ever to do both!...

New Orleans Chooses Wisely Between Football And Culture
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Conan Plays The Lovable Loser, But On The Court As Well?
Conan O'Brien might have some downtime coming up. So the Washington Generals, they of the decades-long losing streak, have reached out and offered him a starting spot....

Wheelchair Lady, Off-Duty Cop Took Down Loud Jets Fan
The unruly Jets fan who was hauled out of Qualcomm Stadium in chains has come forward and the San Diego PD has been shamed into a response by anonymous websites. Was he railroaded or did he get what he deserved?...

Sports Fella Summons His Inner Black Guy For LeBron James Column, With Humorous Results
Bill Simmons watched LeBron James play basketball in person and he's very excited about it. We're talking 3,144 words of excitement and awe and Witnessing. Then he some how managed to go overboard beyond his usual overboarding....

The Best Place To Get In A Bar Fight This Sunday
When Viking fans in New York City want to watch Vikings games, they go to a place called Bar None. When Saints fans in New York City want to watch Saints games, they go to the exact same bar. Uh-oh....

Northwestern Fan Explains Tiger's Masturbatory Lockdown To America
In a bizarre twist, Deadspin's Northwestern University Basketball Columnist Benoit Denizet-Lewis has become the go-to guy for Tiger Woods sex rehab details and this morning's SportsCenter prevailed upon him to break it down for their viewers. Today's lesson: celibacy contracts....

This Morning in TMZish Sports: A Tiger-Like Human Spotted At Sex Rehab
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....

Last Night's Winner: Massholes
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Curt Schilling's boy toy, Scott Brown, who posthumously kicked Ted Kennedy's health care loving butt. This is exactly like the American Revolution, but more annoying....

Here's Kimbo Slice And Elton John, Just Because
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....