w Page 5018 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Are Now Outsourcing Our Cheerleaders
The new issue of The Atlantic Monthly looks at just how much of our country China actually owns. (Answer: At this point, almost all of it.) And this is how you know it has gone too far: They're now controlling what we do with our cheerleaders....
About Last Night
What you missed while unleashing hell with a rubber band gun ... • NBA: Celtics win, Earth returns to normal orbit. • College basketball: Knight's 900th win is rather meaningful ... Texas Tech 68, No. 9 Texas A&M 53. • NFL: OK, his name is very similar to Tony Soprano. We get it. Dolphins hire Spara...
Randy Moss Is Hands Off With The Ladies
So, now the Randy Moss restraining order story has gone "mainstream" — which is different than it going "legit" — what's the deal with it? What's the story? And does it have legs? And by "have legs," we mean, "will it sufficiently disgust Joe Buck?" Here are the papers....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you prepare a cloned meat sandwich ... • College basketball: Duke at Florida State (7 p.m., ET); North Carolina at Georgia Tech (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; Texas A&M at Texas Tech (9:30 p.m.) [ESPN2]. Bobby Knight is locked and loaded. • NBA: Chicago at Miami (7 p.m., ET). [ESPN2] STIMPY: ...
Patriots' Fans Have Delicate Sensibilities
Patriots fans were shocked and indignant when Anna Grant, 14, was booed for wearing a Patriots jersey at the AFC playoff game in Indianapolis on Sunday. Folks at the RCA Dome let her have it during the introduction of the Punt, Pass and Kick winners, where, it appears, even the Colts' mascot got int...
One Man's TV Nightmare Is Another's Comedy Gold
Of course, when you're struggling like this, it's always helpful to have a couple of smart-ass girls in the studio mocking you relentlessly....
Donte Stallworth's Alien Friend Nicco
Donte Stallworth can comfortably be considered the "other" wide receiver on the Patriots. He doesn't have the blow-up-a-game talent of Randy Moss, and he doesn't have the electric, sensuous charisma of the sex bomb that is Wes Welker. It takes a bit for the man to stand out. It takes something drama...
So Did Someone Slap A Restraining Order On Randy Moss, Or Not? (UPDATE: Yep!)
One of the fun parts of the Internets is that once you have introduced something to the series of tubes, called "posting," it never really goes away even if you try to delete it. (Which is why this still exists.) So WDBO Radio in Florida's "scoop" this morning, which they then deleted from their sit...
Solving The Mystery Of Eli Manning
OK, let's get real now: Eli Manning is really one game away from the Super Bowl? We thought he was more into squash. What's going on?...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after celebrating Wikipedia's seventh birthday ... • College basketball: Ohio State at Michigan State (7 p.m., ET); Kentucky at Mississippi State (9 p.m., ET). It's ESPN Super Tuesday! Only, you know, without so much Mitt Romney. [ESPN] • NHL: Montreal at New York Islanders (7 p.m., ET...
Politician On A Mission To Rid Toledo Of Any And All Peckers
So, big sports news here in Toledo. After the minor league hockey team went on hiatus, they're returning soon, along with an arena football team, in a brand new sports arena. And here's where you start caring, because the new football team might be called the Toledo Peckerheads....
Work For The Knicks, In The Worst Capacity Imaginable
You know what would be a great job? Being the guy who has to clean up all of Isiah Thomas' messes, and then try to explain them away to a growling, surly New York media. That's exactly what we told our mom we wanted to be when we grew up....
An Illustrated History Of Roger Clemens' Boorishness
Those Congressional hearings are going on today, but we have a sneaking suspicion that none of you care about them — frankly, we don't either — so we're gonna focus on the type of discourse we enjoy considerably more: Pure, unadulterated hatred of Roger Clemens....
Little People Wrestling At Northwestern
The video above is an advertisement for Half Print Brawlers, which advertises that "midgets bleed for your enjoyment." Well, we suppose that's truth in advertising....
The Stars Come Out For The Australian Open
For the majority of her yearly tournament appearances, 17-year-old Austrian tennis star Tamira Paszek manages to keep the twins indoors, as they say. (OK, no one says that but me). But when the Australian Open rolls around, things change. She's out there, Jerry! And she's lovin' every minute of it...
Ask Jeeves, The Butler Did It
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or shuffling around in his revolutionary sleeping bag, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....
About Last Night
What you missed while talking like Jack Bauer ... • College basketball: Despite missing injured starters Levance Fields, Mike Cook, Ladainian Tomlinson and Philip Rivers, No. 15 Pitt still beats No. 5 Georgetown, 69-60. • NBA: Kobe scores 48, not counting Alaska and Hawaii, as Lakers beat SuperSonic...