w Page 5063 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
With Your Boys, Talkin' S***. But You're Going Home Alone, Aren't'cha?
If there's a theme to Saturday nights, it's saying and doing things you regret on Sunday. Therefore, here follows a round-up of the various mealy-mouthed guarantees and guarded boasting that amounts to this week's "bulletin board material." You said you're confident in your team's chances of victory...
Hugh II: The Nedessey Continues... Part 3
Wow. They're really piling on Michigan today. They're talking about App State every chance they get, not failing to mention that 3 game losing streak, and even breaking out footage of the Kordell Stewart play. Are they going to dig up Bo and Gerald Ford and parade their dead bodies on ABC too just t...
A Quick Thought On Fantasy Football (Take 2)
I am in four fantasy leagues this year. Last year I was in eight. I'm also the proud owner of two keeper leagues, in both of which I am commissioner. When someone asked me why I would willingly serve as such a glutton for punishment, I replied simply, "I would rather be the guy in charge."...
May Pete Rose Live Long And Die Out
Perhaps you've heard of the new book The World Without Us, Alan Weisman's blow-by-blow account of what would happen on Earth if all human beings suddenly disappeared. But if you think this book is just some environmentalist's wet dream, you're wrong. Dead wrong. People, I give you The Voluntary Huma...
We Keep Our Wanka Kits In The Nightstand Drawer
Good news for those of you who haven't been able to track down a replica jersey of the Jacksonville Jerkoffs of the old ABA: the hot new jersey in the U.K. is that of Peruvian soccer club D. Wanka:...
Parlay O' the Week
Amateur athletics and gambling go together like bacon and hot fudge. Each weekend I will share some of my valuable college football gambling wisdom with you, the reader. Just remember, most of said "wisdom" comes from years of losing ridiculously speculative bets; when you lose all your money don't ...
College Games You'd Wade Through A Pile Of $#!+ To See
Only two games this weekend feature ranked opponents going head-to-head. But there are still plenty of intriguing non-conference matchups on the schedule. And you never know when a highly ranked team will shit the bed against an unworthy foe. Could Florida lose to Troy? Anything's possible now....
All of those fun little technical difficulties from last weekend have been sorted out (the difference a space bar can make!) and we're ready to go for week 2 of Hugh II: The Nedessy Continues... Please send me all of your most insightful and pithy comments to our AIM screen name, NCAA Deadspin. [The...
The Gay Mafia Invade The Mothership
Oh, hello there. We, the fine gentleman from Kissing Suzy Kolber, have been charged with guiding you folks through this, the very first weekend of the NFL season. And we could not be more excited. Not only do we get to watch football, we also get to rush to the computer every five minutes to do HTM...
Thank Heavens For The NFL
• Another reason never to get excited about anything. • Mark Mangino will kill you. • Scott Van Pelt had had it up to here with your Internet garbage. • The NFL actually started its season. • Jeff Reed! • Shush, Barber. • Boy, oh boy, Michigan. • Rugby players make great dads. • Enjoy your Sunday! •...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your book is translated into Apache ... • Basketball: Hall of Fame induction ceremony, Springfield, Mass. I'm pretty sure that international coach Mirko Novosel just fondled my buttocks! [ESPN Classic] • College football: Navy at Rutgers. Come back and fight, you cowards! I'm the Sc...
What Kind Of Sports Bar Societal Dregs Will You Encounter During Week 1?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
ESPN Hires Salisbury Upgrade
ESPN's "NFL Sunday Countdown" has tried all sorts of gimmicks to move the ratings dial up a tick, most famously hiring Rush Limbaugh to defend the long-persecuted white quarterback. But now they're trying something we wouldn't have even thought of: They're bringing in a 10-year-old....
Bill Romanowski, Method Actor
You might remember, back in April, when Rick told you about the upcoming film in which Bill Romanowski plays a gay cowboy. (How could you forget?) The move is called Weiners. And now there's a disturbing publicity still....
Wade Wilson's Totally Non-Flaccid Excuse
So here's something our Rick Ankiel could use as a defense, when he inevitably addresses the HGH story later today: He was trying to get a boner....
Man, The Colts Are Pretty Good
In case you had any question about it, the man in the white jersey is Jason David, former cornerback for the Indianapolis Colts, now corner for the Saints. He went against his old team last night. That shot of him, chasing somebody who has streaked past him? There are a lot of those....
No More Waiting Around; The NFL Is Back
You want to know how long it's been since there was some damned NFL football? The last time a game counted, we glogged it. It seems like decades ago. And now, with your last chance for sign up for the Pick 'Em Pool, we welcome an actual live season....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the machines take over ... • College football: Middle Tennessee at Louisville [ESPN2]; Oregon State at Cincinnati. Beavermania reaches Ohio. [ESPN] • NFL: New Orleans at Indianapolis. The battle to determine the best dome team in all of football. [NBC] • Soccer: MLS, D.C. United at ...
It's The AFC West Pants Party
OK, this is finally the last one of these. Thanks for hanging in, everybody. This might be the most lopsided division in the NFL, Norv or no Norv....
It's The AFC South Pants Party
Come on, somebody ... don't pick the Colts. We dare ya. Some picks! • AJ Daulerio: Colts, Titans, Jaguars, Texans. • Kissing Suzy Kolber: Colts, Jaguars, Texans, Titans. • Robert Weintraub, Slate: Colts, Jaguars, Titans, Texans. • Matt Pitzer, USA Today: Colts, Titans, Texans, Jaguars. • Aaron Sc...