we Page 750 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Terrell Owens, Symbol For The Youth
You know, this is the NBA Finals, the World Cup, the start of some obviously exciting baseball pennant races and, of course, ant soccer. One would think it would be our one Terrell Owens-free time of the year....

One Flew Over The Broadcast Booth
Monday's nagging question is, where's Mr. Belvedere when you really need him? Absent a fussy English butler to turn away crazies at the door, Brewers broadcaster Bob Uecker has been left to his own devices to fend off dedicated fans apparent mental cases like Ann Ladd. The Smoking Gun reports that...

Week In Deadspin: He Sees All
• Carl Monday, Freedom Fighter. • George Bodenheimer is a fool for romance. • Larry Hughes puts his clothes where his heart is. • How have we survived without Roger Clemens in our lives? • Your two-time NBA MVP. • Carson Palmer, cornholer. • We have World Cup fever, and we're not the least bit ash...

With Nothing Between Sanity And Madness But A Thin Layer of Polyester
In truth, Kellia Ramares is dangerously obsessed. The middle-aged woman from Berkeley, Calif. has an unlikely fixation on Diamondbacks outfielder Eric Byrnes, in a way that prompted us recently to purchase an extra deadbolt for our back door, for no real tangible reason, just because. But as Ramar...

Great Moments In Academic History
Outstanding yeoman's work from The Seattle Times' Bud Withers, who, apropos of nothing, decided to chronicle various college athlete amusing misdeeds from throughout the years. Our favorites include the tennis player hopping from car hood to car hood waving his racket around, the Cincinnati player...

From Stoned To Brewer
On Sunday, Philadelphia's Ryan Howard hit yet another home run, his 12th of the month. The guy's hot, and, judging from his physique, pretty obviously not on steroids. But that's not the most interesting part of his homer; what we're fascinated by is whom he hit it off....

Week In Deadspin: "Get Away From Me, Carl Monday!"
• So we probably don't need to say much more about our new friends Mike Cooper and Carl Monday. • If only people loved themselves as much as they love a horse. • ESPN anchors are now GQ models. History will not think of us well, people. • Careful of those trampolines, kiddo. • Pat Robertson is pac...

The David Wells Mad Lib
Obviously, David Wells — as evidenced by his appearance on the waiver wire in just about every fantasy league we're in — is much more useful as a quote machine these days than as an actual baseball player. And he's never more amusing than when he's being edited to suit the taste of the delicate ne...

Week In Deadspin: You're With Us, Neil
• Dirk Nowitzki loves David Hasselhoff. • Even with no mullet, we'll still miss Doug Flutie. • Neil Everett has balls of steel. You're with us, Neil! • Hey, look, it's the Atlanta Hawks mascot on a moped. • Ron Zook rocks your ass into next Tuesday. • College baseball's version of Sofia Coppola (t...

Come Gather Round, Children
Well, this should be awfully entertaining: It's the Terrell Owens Youth Football Camp!...

"Hey, Let's Play 'Seventeen' Again." "Yeah, Bro!"
We'd like to thank Boston.com for this staggeringly brilliant photo of Doug Flutie, bringing some goddamn RAWK....

Goodnight, Sweet Dougie; May Your Dreams Involve Much Frantic Scrambling
He made it official earlier today at a press conference in waterlogged Foxborough: that scrappy, lovable Doug Flutie has finally retired, at the age of 43. As disappointed as we are to see Flutie retire — we always kind of figured he'd play until he was 60 — we are relieved as well; Flutie seems l...

Week In Deadspin: "George Clooney! You Been Readin' About All That?"
• Rick Sutcliffe makes Harry Caray proud. • First we brought you Chris Berman poetry, and then we introduced you to the T-shirt that will change your life. • Rasslin' for Jesus. • The view from the Churchill Downs infield. • Lord, these guys are awesome. • O.J. Simpson is keeping himself busy. • T...

The Week In Photos
Photos to delight and amaze you, tripped over while perusing the blogosphere ......

The Closer: Fear The Awesome Hitting Might Of Mark Mulder
Notes from a day of baseball. • 1. Mulder Gets A Little Raucous During Housewarming Party. When they said that the new Busch Stadium would be a pitcher's ballpark, we didn't know they meant it this way. Cardinals starter Mark Mulder clubbed his first career home run on Monday, right over the new H...

Revisiting All The Old Records
Either New Yorker and "The Tipping Point" author Malcolm Gladwell is just angry because Barry Bonds is the only human who might actually have a bigger head than he does, or he might actually be onto something. Gladwell, who says "Game Of Shadows" is "a death sentence for Bonds," suggests hiring a ...

Week In Deadspin: Hello, Horsehide
• Florida won the national championship in a tremendously boring Final Four. • Anna Benson renewed our faith in romance. • We introduced the Daily Closer as baseball spread its yearly seed all over our loins yet again. It turned out not to be the best day for Derek Lowe. • Beware of Jenn Sterger's...

Look! It's A Big Sheet Of NFL Lists!
Ordinarily we make fun of ESPN overkill around these parts, but we won't lie to you: We have absolute no problem with the network's around-the-clock, BREAKING NEWS, live live live! coverage of the release of the complete NFL schedule. If you're not around a TV, it's really something to watch; they...

One Lousy Opening Day
You think you had a bad day yesterday? Dodgers starter Derek Lowe, inexplicably starting on Opening Day, was hammered by the Braves. And when the game was over, he had to go home and read transcripts of divorce proceedings spread all over the Internet. They were initially posted by the subscriptio...

Yeah, Steroids Will Totally Ruin Your Life
It was pointed out when Yankees Meat Loaf impersonator Jason Giambi admitted to taking steroids in front of the BALCO grand jury that steroids worked out just fine for him. A year after it was confirmed by Giambi was taking steroids, he signed a nine-digit contract with the Yankees. Ask him, in da...