whimsy Page 93 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
And This Is How Ketchup Is Made
It's the annual Tomatina, when Spanish revelers congregate and, well, throw tomatoes at each other. It looks as fruity as it sounds, but at least you'll look bloodier than you would running with the bulls. [WSJ Genius]...
Muppets Win Again
Life is all about priorities, compromises and compromising priorities, which is why the WNBA's Atlanta Dream — ever heard of 'em? — may not be able to play at home if they make the playoffs. They're being bumped by puppets....
You Can Be The Proud Owner Of Onterrio Smith's Whizzinator
It's the perfect gift for the man in your life who routinely fails drug tests. It could also be used as a funny gag gift for a 40th birthday or a Christmas tree ornament. [RandBall]...
The Most Brilliant Thing You'll See All Night
This is a couple weeks old, but well worth the wait. Let's make this girl a star....
King Bloomberg Can't Hear You With All These Goddamned Commoners Barking
NYC's "benevolent tyrant," adorned in fine lavender, at the Little League World Series in Williamsport, PA. [Bugs & Cranks]...
Poor Lawrence Tynes
The Giants' kicker was forced to show off his hamstring flexibility with The Rockettes (and Santa!) in the middle of the 6th Avenue to prove his knee is fully rehabilitated from last year. Coughlin's a tough sonuvabitch. [Best Week Ever]...
At Last, A Carl Monday Video That Will Never Be Rubbed Out
For too long, the video of wanking correspondent Carl Monday's investigation into the activities of Mike Cooper's right hand has been subject to the whims of copyright enforcement. No longer. Here it is, brand spanking new, archived for all eternity....
Apparently Joanna Krupa Is Not A Fan Of Ryan Braun's Fashion Line
At another one of those REMETEE events (remember: like "remedy" not "ream tea") the model-turned-whatever privately told one photog what she thought of Braun's creation: "It looks like Ozzy Osbourne threw up on you." [Milwaukee Nights]...
And Now A Look At The Actual Brett Favre Goat Tied Up In The Lady's Trunk
Finally, you can put your photoshopping skills to rest — the comically cruel Brett Favre goat video has been released to the local news. Yes, the goat, although tied down, is still alive in these photos. [WCCO]...
Albom Comes Alive!
In addition to being a very successful author for Oprah's army and a person who was a classically trained journalist at a prestigious institution, Mitch Albom moonlights as a rock star dwarf. [Mental Floss]...
Peter King Shows Off HIs Under Armour, Unwavering Red Sox Fanaticism
SI's lovable NFL columnist took some time away from pre-season coverage and colonoscopies to take in the Friday night beat down of the Boston Red Sox at Fenway. [Bar Stool Sports]...
Best Running Back On The Planet Shows Off Quzzical Dead Duck Face
Adrian Peterson pops up in a photo gallery on Gobbler Country and shows the world that he can also be cruel to animals. Beware the crazed duck lovers converging upon Minnesota to display their outrage. [GC via SB]...
NCAA Bans Improper Spreads And Jams
George Mason coach Jim Larranaga reports that NCAA rules allow him to provide free bagels to his players, but butter and cream cheese would be a violation. Now that's meshuggah! [Twitter, via Brooks]...
Deadspin I-Team: Who Is Rick Reilly's Virtual Bodyguard?
Avid readers of Rick Reilly®'s Wikipedia entry might've noticed a recent change: It is now, in every sense of the word, toothless....
Mets Third Base Coach Does Not Like My Pants And Will Not Eat My Poop Sandwich (UPDATE)
One man who's managed to keep his sunny disposition during the Mets season from hell is smooth-talking third base coach Razor Shines. Now you can ask him yes/no questions in this virtual ad and he'll answer them. All of them....
Man Asserts Dominion Over Nature, Hits Horse With Rally Car
Here's a photo of an Argentine rally driver running into a herd of wild horses somewhere in the Patagonian hills. One of them had to be put down. This is basically a metaphor for the industrial revolution....
Antrel Rolle Blames Fumble On His Silky Smooth Arms
The hellish, back-breaking death march of professional football has claimed many victims, but perhaps none more tragically than Cardinals safety Antrel Rolle, who dropped a crucial preseason punt because his arms were over-moisturized. The horror.......
Aural Secs: Bolt's 9.58 Explained With Music
How fast is 9.58 seconds? Watch this video. I think you'll understand....
The Bike-Mounted Alligator Is The Bayou's Apex Predator
A Louisiana man was arrested after bicycling down the street with an alligator slung over his shoulder. "We don't know what his intentions were," said Capt. Pat Yoes. Once again proving that all regional stereotypes are always true. [Times-Picayune]...