Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

The Patriots Are Returning To The Super Bowl. Barf Barf Barf.

Photo credit: Andrew Harnik/AP

The New England Patriots overcame the loss of Rob Gronkowski and a ten-point second-half deficit to defeat the Jacksonville Jaguars, 24-20, and return, like the swallows to Capistrano, to the Super Bowl. Fuck this shit.

It looked like the Jaguars might have this one in hand after Myles Jack made an incredible play to rip the ball loose from Dion Lewis in the third quarter, with the Jaguars leading 20-10 and Tom Brady generally not looking much like himself. Maybe you, too, allowed yourself to believe the miserable, hateful fucking Patriots would shuffle the hell on and allow a team anyone actually likes to advance, for a change. I am sorry for your loss.


Brady connected with Amendola for touchdowns twice in the fourth quarter, including for the game-winner, and the Jaguars offense behaved like a scared turtle, and I would just like to say that the part of human history where good people were allowed to experience joy is now in our past. Goodnight.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

About the author