Your morning roundup for March 28, the day Lindsay became the artist formerly known as Lindsay Lohan.
• The 2011 Final Four is set, and there's nothing Jay Bilas and Dicky V can say about it now: No. 11 VCU, No. 8 Butler, No. 4 Kentucky, and No. 3 UConn. Of the 5.9 million people who filled out a bracket for the ESPN Tournament Challenge, two selected this group. One has Kentucky over Butler, the other abandoned all logic and care and chose VCU over Kentucky. But after his team's 10-point loss to VCU yesterday, Kansas head coach Bill Self pointed out what everyone will have "realized" until they fill out next year's bracket: "Seeds are overrated," he said. The sad Jayhawk and the Ram agreed. Before Sunday's game, they were both #1.
• Elsewhere in college basketball, Dayton's Brian Gregory is headed to Georgia Tech, and Tennessee was quick to replace Bruce Pearl; the school hired Missouri State's Cuonzo Martin over the weekend. Coach Martin will likely not meet-and-greet his players with a house BBQ party.
• And here's a look at the best-biggest-most-excitingest shots from the tournament thus far.
• According to the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, Jose Canseco sent his twin brother Ozzie to fight in his place at a celebrity boxing event at the Hard Rock Cafe in Hollywood, Fla. "Jose" demanded that the promoter, Damon Feldman, pay him up front, and Real-Jose sent Feldman a text message reading, "You have to pay him." Real-Jose confused his pronouns.
• Someone broke into a house shared by Tampa Bay's Evan Longoria, David Price and Reid Brignac in Port Charlotte, Fla. and stole "a 60-inch flat-screen TV, three iPads and two Xbox video game systems," and "several high-priced watches." I would feel really bad for them if they all weren't incredibly wealthy.
• Miami's Big Three each went for 30 and 10 in their 125-119 win over Houston on Sunday. This feat was last accomplished in regulation by Oscar Robertson, Wayne Embry and Jack Twyman in 1961. OK, so they're good. They're just not always so good all at the same time.
• Brittney "Bigger Than Y'all" Griner scored 40 points and Baylor defeated Green Bay, 86-76. Georgetown gave UConn a real challenge, but the Huskies escaped with a 68-63 win, so Geno Auriemma can finally relax as the UConn fans join the bandwagon for the Elite 8. Of course, most of those eligible are already on Jim Calhoun's bandwagon, and there are only so many bandwagons one can simultaneously join! Auriemma may have to wait for the finals.
A few stories you might've missed this weekend.
このくそったれ: Someone interrupted a moment of silence during the Argentina-U.S. friendly in just about the worst way imaginable.
Ball Washers: According to one of John Daly's exes, who is now writing something like a book, there was once a lady who gave blowjobs in the bushes off the 16th hole at TPC Southwind in Memphis. I've heard this one. I believe the punchline is: "I know. I'm the bus driver."
Shut Up, College: Fresno State's baseball team needed 22 innings and more than seven hours to beat San Diego this weekend. Final score: 3-2.
What: We'll let our tipster describe this video: "creepy fucking dude doing yoga with kids and people in farm animal costumes."