We Hope They Turn Out Overweight And Lethargic

To celebrate his new big-ass contract for the Dodgers — and the inevitable shredding of some sort of tender tendon that will result — Nomar Garciaparra has found a fertile place in Mia Hamm that his seed might find purchase.

The soccer star — "Congratulations, beautiful!" — is expected to have twins in spring 2007, and we're hoping, after the birth, she rips off her hospital gown and sprints around the OB-GYN ward wearing a sports bra and screaming. (Yes, yes, we know, that was Brandi Chastain; we just don't remember much more of the 1999 World Cup than that.)

The accompanying photo is from Hurty Elbow, and it does ominously portend a photo shoot with Garciaparra, Hamm and the unborn fetuses sometime within the next few months. Hey, anything to sell a few issues of the swimsuit edition.

Mia Hamm And Eggs Fertilized With Twins [Hurty Elbow]