We were pretty sure that the end of civilization was near when we discovered Korfball. After a close examination of Korfball, it became very clear that humans have too much time on their hands, and it would be better for everyone if we just gave everything back to the lower mammals, letting them start the evolution process all over again.
Now meet Chessboxing, which is even more pointless. It's what one might imagine — wherein opponents square off in alternate rounds of boxing and chess. Played exclusively in Europe, the sport is organized to the point where there's a world champion, and devotees claim that it's headed to the U.S., having already made inroads through — wait for it — the Wu-Tang Clan.
Well, bring it on, chessboxing. We'll grind you under the heel of our future national pastime, the competitive staring contest. And, of course, Calvinball.