Good Morning, Class...

It's MJD, back again as your substitute teacher. And I promise, no more pictures of speedskating "moose knuckles," (unless Chad Hedrick and Shani Davis begin insulting the size of each others respective "moose knuckles"), and no Arena Football (unless Bon Jovi takes over as starting QB of the Soul).

Also, one other thing I want to quickly note. Back on Friday, when I introduced myself, I compared my presence here to that of the loveable Mr. Drummond, taking care of Arnold and Willis. It was brought to my attention that the fine gentlemen at The Hater Nation had done similar things in the past.

I didn't know. Honest mistake. Believe me, I've got a lot of respect for anyone who dislikes the Oakland Raiders, so I offer my apologies, and I'd like to say that I'm nothing at all like Conrad Bain or Mr. Drummond. I'm much more like Gordon Jump when he tried to paw up Arnold and Dudley.

No Pain, No Bain [The Hater Nation] Just Pretend It's Saturday [Deadspin] We Have To Do Something About Male Speedkating Uniforms [Deadspin] The Famous Diff'rent Strokes *Raunchy* Child Molestor Episode! [X-Entertainment]