Roger Clemens Hates His Crotch

You might think that Peter King's gruesome description of the preparations he took to prepare for his colonoscopy would be the most disturbing thing you'd read all day. It would seem like a good bet; Peter, we love the freedom you have online, but there is such a thing as decorum and good will to your fellow man. Please: No more in-depth descriptions of your need to poo. Thank you.

But anyway, that's not the most horrifying mental image your sports pages bring you today anyway. From Peter Gammons' Sunday blog, about Roger Clemens' "training habits:"

All the Team USA pitchers — and pitching coach Marcel Lachemann — were in awe of Roger Clemens. But one thing they weren't ready for was Clemens taking that Icy Hot that pitchers rub on their shoulders and arms and spreading it over his upper thighs and private parts. "He doesn't want to get comfortable on the mound," says Jake Peavy, who tried the same trick Friday night in Phoenix.

That's right, folks; Roger Clemens spreads Icy Hot on his crotch. This explains so, so much.

Peter Gammons' Blog [ESPN Insider]
Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback [SI.com]