As Much As It Hurts, We Have To Accept That It's Over

Well, now that the dust has settled a bit, now that we've all had time to collect ourselves, rest up, sleep it off and compose ourselves ... we think we're ready to dig back into the Anna Benson divorce story.

Wait. We're not ready. Give us a second.

According to the New York Daily News, Anna caught Kris cheating on her with one of her friends. This, of course, begs the question: Anna Benson has friends? Anyway, Benson's publicist says, "She's completely crushed; she didn't see this coming. She had no choice but to take this action."

Hmm. Far be it from us to cast aspersions on the reputation of a woman with a shitload of guns, but let's look at the facts here. Just after a trade from the largest media market in the country to Baltimore, in the middle of spring training, Kris Benson decided that not only he was going to have sex with a woman who was not his wife, but specify that it be one of her friends? Really? Either Kris Benson is an even bigger moron than any of us could have possibly imagined ... or something's fishy about this tale. Or both, we suppose.

Bensons Kayoed [New York Daily News]
The Day The Music Died [Deadspin]
Do Not Mess With Anna Benson And Her Guns [Deadspin]