Welcome to Minor Enterprise, where each Wednesday we preview, and occasionally review, the great events and promotions of minor league baseball. If you have a tip about a minor league promotion, or perhaps you've been arrested for public drunkeness while wearing a mascot beaver costume, contact us at email@example.com.
What you're seeing here are Thunder and Jackpot, the mascots for the Lake Elsinore Storm of the Single-A California League, who appear ready to kick some Sith ass. Thunder is a dog, and Jackpot is a rabbit, in case you were wondering. What's a Sith? We have no idea, nerd. But it's apparently evil and can only be dispatched by fluffy costumed characters on loan from the ice capades.
These are the main players in Storm Wars, Episode II, the pulse-pounding sequel to last year's Storm Wars, Episode I, both short films which were written and produced by Storm Director of Graphic Communications Mark Beskid. The 14-minute extravaganza will be shown as the feature attraction at Star Wars Night, as the Storm take on the Rancho Cucamonga Quakes tonight at 6:05 p.m. (PST). The Lake Elsinore Storm are very proud to bring together baseball stat geeks and scif-fi geeks; their feeling being that, unless these two groups can come to some kind of mutual understanding, there can be no hope for peace in the Middle East.
Let's just move on to Beskid himself, who explains the film like this:
In a nutshell, Storm Wars II picks up where Storm Wars I left off. There is an evil presence in the California League, and a bounty hunter has been sent to kill all the mascots. All entertainment has been banned. It's a fight for survival!
Several more exclusive action stills from Storm Wars, Episode II appear after the jump, as well as, for some reason, a photo from a Red Sox game. And we really don't mean to make fun; we think what Beskid has done is kind of awesome, actually.
This week's featured minor league promotions:
• Anger Management Night. Sunday, Augusta GreenJackets (South Atlantic League). The Greenjackets will honor everyone's favorite raving lunatic, Asheville Tourists manager Joe Mikulik, by passing out stress balls to the first 250 fans and distributing copies of an Anger Management DVD. Also, Spencer Johnson's classic book "Who Moved My Cheese?" will be available. And don't miss the base-throwing contest!
• T.O. Unappreciation Night. Thursday, Atlantic City Surf, Atlantic League. The ultimate Terrell Owens blowup will occur on Thursday, as anyone with T.O. memorabilia will receive two upper box seats. There will also be 81 cent hot dogs and dollar beers, and, wait for it ... Terrell Owens whoopee cushions. All of the unusable Owens garb will be blown up in a fireworks display later that evening. This whole thing is being conducted by Philadelphia morning show "superstar" Angelo Cataldi, in case you didn't know. (Thanks to Travis Witmeyer).
• Further Breaking Portland Beavers News. Reader Kevin Desjardins reports: "While following the Minor Enterprise links on Timber Jim in Portland, I came across this on the PGE Park web page.": Roughly 20-25 feral cats inhabit PGE Park for rodent control. The cats are fed and watered by PGE Park staff at the Feral Cat Station, located just behind the Beavers bullpen in left field.
• Mascot Of The Week: Reader Jon Boswell reports: "The Wilmington Blue Rocks aren't the only Red Sox affiliate with a ridiculous mascot. The Lowell Spinners, NYPL affiliate of the Sox, have a toothbrush named Bristles that the kids, for whatever reason, go absolutely crazy for. Bristles takes the field in the fifth inning each night to sweep the bases clean in his magical sprint around the bases."
• Bobblehead Of The Moment: Donald Trump Bobblehead Giveaway. Saturday, Lakewood BlueClaws, South Atlantic League. We're not exactly sure that this is the actual bobblehead that many lucky BlueClaws fans will receive, but it has to be reasonably close. An item that's always fun to have on your desk as you're firing that special employee. (Hair sold separately).
We continue with action stills from the highly-anticipated minor league baseball short film Storm Wars, Episode II ... except for that last one, which just kind of snuck in there.