Just two more first-round matchups left until the Elite Eight, and we've got a potential barnburner here today. (Does anyone other than Musberger use "barnburner" anymore? We like the term.)
It's No. 7 seed Ozzie Guillen — unfortunately in the opposite bracket of Jay Mariotti — against No. 10 seed Stephen A. Smith, two people whom, if they had a conversation, would be surprisingly boring, probably because it would be televised on ESPN 2 around 11 p.m., maybe, we think, whatever time they're running it now.
LET'S LOOK AT THE MATCHUP BECAUSE EVERYTHING IN THIS MATCHUP IS IMPORTANT.
No. 7 Seed: Ozzie Guillen
Controlled your ass.
Sent down a poor pitcher for not hitting someone on the other team.
Restored a somewhat damaged image by picking a fight with Jay Mariotti.
Drank down by several Chicago-area gay men.
Tried not to notice A-Rod's erection.