This Week In Soccer: At Last, Consequences For Taking A Dive

Marco Borriello is a soccer player for Milan who recently failed a drug test following a match with Roma, but had a very interesting excuse in his defense. You've heard of accidentally testing positive for banned substances by eating a poppyseed muffin, or taking cough medicine? Well, take a look at the photo here of Borriello's girlfriend, Argentine model Belen Rodriguez, and use your imagination.

(Borriello blamed) her for his negative result in the test due to a cream she used to cure a vaginal infection — which he unwittingly "ingested" whilst paying attention to the aforementioned part of her rather delectable anatomy. Though I suppose it wasn't that delectable at the time, hence the cream.

"Exhibit A, your honor." "Order! Order!"

We're not sure we believe this, by the way. We predict that in two years it will be the most commonly repeated urban myth, replacing the kangaroo hopping off with the car keys.

The Yeast He Can Expect Is A Three-Month Ban [Rumorwhore]