Deadspin "correspondent" AJ Daulerio is filing dispatches from the Super Bowl all week. Here's his newest one, after a night out on the town.
One of the saddest parts about oversleeping in a hotel is realizing that you missed the Continental Breakfast. You stroll into the lobby and have this sinking feeling that everybody else milling around the lobby has accomplished so much more with their mornings than you have. You see people in bathing suits, children prancing around with brochures and hordes of other vacationers checking in with all of their luggage on wheels. This is how I felt — initially — but I soon realized/remembered that the Continental Oceanfrontviewship has no Continental breakfast, even though its name suggests it. Unless, of course, the army of Spanish children jumping around the lobby is the breakfast. That would be bad. But I must admit, when you get home at 5:24 a.m., those little ninos screaming and yelling with their Alligator Alley brochures wouldn't be so bad to eat with a side of wheat toast and coffee — or whatever this sludgy, espresso-like concoction is.
It is in this moment of dread, of worthlessness and sifting through text messages from last evening that I attempted to answer by, it appears, typing with my face, it's clear that last night seemed to accomplish nothing but shameless abuse of an expense account — with my, ahem, attorney present at all times, of course — unless you consider 12 shots of Patron/Cuervo at The Deuce and some other dirtbag place a good use of time.
However, when I finally checked my mailbox at 10:14 a.m. this morning, I realized that a lot can be accomplished when you have little or no agenda during Super Bowl week. And you can make dreams come true for a small football salami maker in Michigan:
just a quick note to remind you of your old friend JoJo the Salami Football. I just spoke to Joe Ilowski today, and not only is he doing them again this year, but apparently they will be featured on... THE VIEW.
Word is that Mrs. Hasselbeck came across the tale, and insisted they have to get hold of some for the show. So apparently they will be on THE FRIGGIN VIEW on Wednesday.
So with that news, Joe authorised me to tell you that if you want JoJo Junior, he can send you one in Miami, in return for a shameless plug.
Oh, and since Matt H. will apparently be watching his wife play with Joe's salami, Joe might set up a quickie web site to take advantage of anyone that wants to party with JoJo's siblings.
Keep out of trouble in Coconut Grove.
Doesn't that just make everything worthwhile?
In addition, after the jump, some of the local denizens of South Beach offer their opinion about who will win Super Bowl XLI. I'm now off to Media Day, with no press pass and a serious hangover.
Here are some of the people that agreed to be part of the survey conducted last evening/early this morning. The question: WHO WILL WIN SUPER BOWL XLI?
This nice lady bartender gave us two free shots after many hours of drinking. It should've been around six free shots, but she did what she could. She works at bar called Tequila SOMETHING and will have the unenviable task of working Friday, Saturday and Sunday of this week to thousands of people much more idiotic than we were. But she assured us that it would be "Chicago, all the way!" in XLI.
These two fellas were kind of grouchy and stand-offish. They didn't like having their picture taken. Not at 5 a.m. But even the most argumentative have an opinion about the outcome of this year's Super Bowl. They were both very confident that "Indy!" would trounce the Bears.
These nice people seemed like a happy couple. And by "couple" I mean "sharing stuff they found in the trash together." The man on the right claims he's a die hard Bears fan and says that they'll "kill" Indianapolis. The woman on the left was even more confident that "New England!" would walk away with the Lombardi Trophy again this year.
This surly fellow charged $15 for his photo. $15! And he wouldn't write me a receipt. He mentioned something about being "exploited" by me, but then got all Run DMC Raising Hell on me once the $15 was ponied up. He says "Chicago!" will win the Super Bowl because they're "underestimated — just like me!"
This is a nice woman who was sleeping on a bench on Washington Ave. She mumbled something about "blankets" before passing out in her own lap. For the sake of this assignment, however, we'll assume that she said "Indianapolis, all the way!"
Now, I must shower and attempt to head to Media Day. Hopefully, in an hour, I'll be able to feel my face again.