Bill Hall Is Smarter Than The Average Centerfielder

Back when we lived in St. Louis, we made the mistake of parking our car before a Rams game in the rooftop garage for the Gateway Arch, which is technically federal property. This was not necessarily a problem until we popped open a beer for a tiny, sad little tailgate. Within a matter of seconds, three armed guards were on us, telling us to ... calmly ... put ... the beer ... down.

So we understand that Brewers utilityman Bill Hall didn't realize that the area around the Arch is practically a militarized zone.

[Brewers manager Ned] Yost was called to the rescue late Thursday night when centerfielder Bill Hall was detained by a National Parks Service ranger after committing a traffic violation while driving a friend's car. Hall and the friend were returning from a late dinner when the ranger pulled them over for failing to make a turn while in a turn lane. The ranger gave Hall a field sobriety test, which he passed. Nevertheless, the ranger - who was on duty at the nearby Gateway Arch - asked that a member of the team come pick him up, which Yost did. "It didn't make sense to me that a ranger was involved," Yost said. "Billy really didn't do anything wrong except fail to make a turn in a turn lane."

Honestly, knowing those Arch park rangers, he's lucky he's not still rotting in, we dunno, Gateway Arch jail or something.

Do Not Mess With Park Rangers [Doberman Demeanor]