Judge: Brazilian Soccer Is Too Gay

Say what you will about the legal system in our country — we are a country governed by laws, and those laws are enforced by a man who gleefully lies, splendid, amazing, artistically blessed lies — but at least we don't have people like Manoel Maximiniano Junqueira Filho, a Brazilian judge.

Hearing a suit filed by a soccer player against a television station (and opposing coach) who intimated that he was gay, the judge said the player didn't have a case ... but should probably quit soccer if he's gay anyway. Some selected highlights:

• "It's not that a homosexual can't play ball. If he wants, than play it. However, form his own team and start another federation. Schedule games with those that prefer to fight against themselves."

• "What is not reasonable is the acceptance of homosexuals in Brazilian soccer because they would harm the uniformity of thinking of the team, the togetherness, the balance, and the ideal."

• "Not even to mention the uncomfortable feeling of the fan, who wants to go to the stadium, sometimes with his son, and see his beloved team succeeding in the competition, instead of losing oneself in analysis of the behavior of this or that athlete with an obvious personality or existential problem, making it uncomfortable also for the teammates, the coach , the technical commission and the managers of the club."

It's true: We hate it when our athletes have "obvious personality or existential problems." Fortunately, that only happens when they're gay.

Judge Shows Homophobia's Grip On Brazil [William K. Wolfrum]