With this, Boras has jumped the shark.

Will's Bambino bobblehead can't believe this comparison.

Babe Ruth used the original performance enhancer, booze.

I'm pretty sure A-Rod is both a pitcher and a catcher.

Deadspin... your one stop source for Rick Ankiel news.

Scott Boras is fluent in Shortstackian.

"You have a player whose contributions came first as a pitcher, then as a position player."

You sure you wanna hang your hat on those "contributions" as a pitcher, Scott?

/throws wild pitch
/throws wild pitch
/throws wild pitch
/throws wild pitch
/shits pants

@Gourmet Spud: He is a third baseman... He films the action, and distracts the Blue Jays, by screaming.

Brooks Kieschnick is rolling over in his grave.

Wait, it's only his career that is dead.

Obama juices?

Expect the Cards to counter with a comparison to Steve Blass.

Hey this story reminds me that there's a great book coming out about how the fun has been taken out of sports for fans everywhere. Man, what's the name of that book...Anyway, it hits shelves on Jan. 22.

@Kid Canada: Might as well. If you're a pitcher with a throwing arm that is still attached to your shoulder, you're worth $30 million easy. Long live bad pitching contracts.

@Dread: I traded a Curtis Martin rookie card for his rookie card once. Kieschnick was cool.

Scott Boras will be negotiating Barbaro's new contract based on his contributions as both a racing horse and a can of dog food.

Jose Canseco pitched an inning or 2 if I recall. He also juiced. It's the circle of life.

"You have a player whose contributions came first as a center fielder, then as a wife-abusing womanizing half-blind shell of a man," the agent said. "The last player you're really talking about is Kirby Pucket."

Brooks Kieschnick is rolling over in his grave.

DAMN YOU TO HELL! If it wouldn't have taken me 5 minutes to figure out how to spell Kieschnick...

@MadmanMundt:

Nicely done.

Mr. Boras, I may be wrong, but wouldn't Stan Musial have been the more apt comparison, especially given the franchise?

"You have player whose contributions came first as a pitcher and then as a guy who slept with Alyssa Milano. The last 5 players you're really talking about are . . ."

Boras would have gotten Jose Oquendo a 30 million dollar a year contract

Other Boras negotiations:

"Mr. Vick excels in TWO sports. This hasn't been seen since Deion Sanders, Bo Jackson, and... um... Dick Groat."

"Mr. Garcia is utilized by the team as a quarterback, but is fully capable of going both ways."

"My client has performed at the peak of his abilities in both the American League and the National League, as well as setting records in the minors. No other player -- Rodriguez, Bonds, Clemens -- can claim that distinction. Mr. General Manager, if we don't see a max contract for the San Diego Chicken, we walk."

I played with Babe Ruth: I knew Babe Ruth; Babe Ruth was a friend of mine. Outfielder, you're no Babe Ruth.

I hope Rich Garces hires Boras for his major-league comeback bid. I can see it now:

"You have a player whose contributions came first as a pitcher, then as a participant in dozens of hot dog eating contests," the agent said. "The last player you're really talking about is Babe Ruth."

John Goodman was more of a Babe Ruth than Ankiel.

@twoeightnine: Couldn't decide whether to type "twenty-fifth man" or "25th man"?

Doug Dascenzo disagrees with Scott Boras...

@Yostal: Ah, but then that would mean that Boras actually knew something about the history of baseball.

@Yostal: What about Mark Whitten? Hard hittin' Whitten pitched occassionally when he was with the Tribe. He had a 94 mph fastball...for 10 pitches. Then it dropped into the 70s.

@BraveSrRob: Let us also not forget about Wade Boggs and his feared knuckle-ball.

Oh, and he also made the HOF while drinking a 30 rack of miller lite a day. That's gotta be worth bonus money.

@BruschisBrewsky:
Wade Boggs: A true Man of Fame

See, Ruth actually could pitch. Ankiel couldn't, hence the position change.

Micah Owings is a far better comparison to Ruth.

Rick Ankiel is the Aaron Miles of Cardinal baseball.

Are you sure you're not actually supporting Hillary, Will? With damning comparisons like that....