Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

Now that college football is over, and we have less than a month of the NFL left to go, perhaps we take a moment and look toward baseball. How about that heartwarming, inspiring story of, oh, what's his name ....

Yes, Rick Ankiel will be back, with the HGH revelations behind him, ready to inspire and elevate America. (He's sports' Barack Obama!) So, how we gonna kick this off? Oh ... it appears ... an arbitration hearing with Scott Boras. Ugh.

"You have a player whose contributions came first as a pitcher, then as a position player," the agent said. "The last player you're really talking about is Babe Ruth."

Man, everything just gets ruined. Stupid sports.

Cards Have Arbitration Coming Up [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]