Deadspin
As we mentioned last night, the sad saga of Kevin Hart and his phantom recruiting has come to an end with his confession that he made it all up. This blew our minds in ways that surprised us.
The jokes, of course, are there to be made, and we understand: It's an odd little high school drama all wrapped up, a confused kid getting himself in over his head. Realize how much he had to plan here. He had to start the initial rumors about schools interested in him in the first place, he had to call the press conference to announce his "decision" and, in the masterstroke, he actually went through all the trouble to bring hats with him from each of the final two schools and dramatically pick Cal. (We think it's a good sign for Illinois recruiting that he even thought to make them up as a potential suitor.) The most amazing thing about this, we think, is that he ever had the notion that this might work. Surely, someone was going to notice eventually? Or perhaps he thought the Cal Golden Bears would just say, "Well, he says he's going here ... I guess he is!"
It's a vivid, and poignant, reminder that as much as we obsess over college sports recruiting, these are high school kids, prone to the same fits of immaturity we all were at that age. Kevin Hart did something very dumb, because that's what teenagers do: Dumb things. He just happened to do it in an industry that obsesses over the every whim of 17-year-olds. Poor kid.
Prep Football Player Gets Caught In A Lie [Washington Post]
Kevin Hart Made The Whole Thing Up [Deadspin]
Comments
Yeah, but check out those sweet Crocs.
"I'm trying to pose like the Heisman Trophy but I REALLY have to take a dump".
Very, very sad.
ESPN is already working on a made-for-tv movie of this.
Posting that picture is crueler than any comment that can be made here.
Well, I confess to have fallen for it. Yes, apparently I'm an idiot.
Is he wearing Crocs?
He should have just continued doing the dumb things all high school seniors do: other 17 year olds.
Is this this week's Jamboroo?
Remember, its not a lie if you believe it.
Uncle Kracker sure has let himself go.
And the "Jackin' M'Titty" Heisman pose.
The first sign of instability would be the above picture of a offensive lineman posing for the Heisman.
Kevin Hart is the Star Wars kid?
@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: Not at all.
...
I have a rock that keeps tigers away for sale, if you want it.
There's an implication here that I stopped doing dumb shit when I got older. This may not be wholly accurate.
Come on guys, he's practicing martial arts - he's a black belt.
/Fact
@MeSoHornsby: +100
Do guys wear Crocs? I imagine if he wasn't such a big oaf, he would be getting his ass kicked for that.
Excerpt from his apology:
"I stand before you today embarrassed and saddened by my actions. But in admitting what I've done, I stand before you a man. Just a simple, Nobel-prize winning, purple-heart receiving, 12-inch dick having man."
At some point, wouldn't his teammates wonder why he was being recruited by Division-1 schools when they were placed higher on the roster than him?
Jesus Will, why don't you just set up a PayPal account so we can make donations for the guy? He was a big fish in a little pond, and when he realized that those days were numbered, he made shit up so he could grab the spotlight a little longer.
There's nothing sad or honorable about it. He's just another attention whore. Hell, he'll probably release a sex tape within a year and score a reality TV show.
It reminds me of the time in high school when I pretended I had to choose between Harvard and Princeton.
Good times.
Man, that Hart kid's scheme did not have a solid Foundation at all.
I don't feel sorry for this kid one freaking iota.
Poor guy. The least he could have done was choose between two SEC schools. Good thing that he's honest about his talent level.
Nice try, Kevin. But Heismans aren't for liars. They're for murderers.
The "poor kid" label should be saved for starving Somalian children and victims of abuse. Kevin Hart falls under the "idiot dumbass" category.
the bigger the lie, the more they believe
/yeah, The Wire
@Doyle McPoyle:
I'm going to need to Stu on this for awhile. Feels like an Anvil has been dropped on my head.
This is precisely how Mike Huckabee started his presidential campaign and look where he is now. The kid's not that dumb.
@Doyle McPoyle:
His head's the size of an Anvil.
@Gourmet Spud: Bah
His girlfriend in Canada must be devastated.
I'm pretty sure the usage of the hats was inspired by Kige's mini helmet usage.
If you are 6-4, 290 lbs and can't score a scholarship or partial scholarship somewhere at a D1, D1AA or D2 school, you must really suck.
No wonder he couldn't get a D-I scholarship. The kid's got holes in his feet!
I just picture the poor s.o.b. going up to lids and buying a Cal hat and an Oregon hat, thinking 'this is pure genius.'
"Amateur."
- Jayson Blair
@Dead Wrestlers Society: Nature loving chicks dig Crocs. I do not know why but Crocs = Starbury's Truck to some ladies.
At least I own them in Black...Hart looks like he has them in Pink.
INBISIBL RECRUTR
I was falling for "vivid and poignant" and feeling bad for laughing at this idiot.
Then I saw the Crocs.
@Doyle McPoyle: Good thing he had a Blue Blazer to cover up his sweat.
FRANKS AND BEANS!!!
What's sad is that Belichick had Matt Walsh tape the kid's highschool workouts AND Star Wars lightsaber tricks in anticipation of him entering the NFL in 2012.
dumb things high schoolers do:
- get busted drinking by parents
- skip school
- show up to prom wasted and get kicked out
dumb things high schoolers don't do
- hold a press conference for an elaborate hoax involving your decision as to which division 1 school you'll be playing football at
@Gourmet Spud: I'm getting sick of giving you +1s.
@Doyle McPoyle: he wasn't much of a sharp shooter.
The sad thing is, this is a really lame ending to this whole story. I for one was rooting for this to be the best practical joke ever.
The sad thing is, if the kid's a two star, he could have gone JUCO if he wasn't recruited, or gone the walk on route at someplace like Nevada or UNLV (or hell, Utah State). But instead, he chose to turn it into a charade.
I don't envy the kid, he played himself afterall, but I do generally agree with Will that the whole thing is kind of sad. Much like that picture.
But hey, at least he'll have the royalties for his invention of the Flowbee to fall back on.
@UkraineNotWeak: +1
INVISBLE SURFBOARD
I'm trying to decide whether, if I had to choose, I would want to be Kevin Hart or Mike Cooper. And it's tearing me apart.
Worst senior prank ever ! The coach must feel like a douche.
@PQ Crash:
He's going to Rocket Berkeley straight to the top!