Don't worry, folks: Deadspin Hall of Famer Kyle Orton isn't going anywhere: He'll be back in the Bears uniform next year.

The Sex Cannon will be back for the Bears too, which means there's a possibility they'll be battling it out for the starting spot next year. No offense, Rex, but who beat the Packers last year? Who provides us with so much joy every year? Orton shouldn't just be the starting quarterback for the Bears, he should be the starting quarterback for EARTH.

Rumors And Rants has a great Orton shot compendium, by the way.

Party Time In Chicago [Rumors And Rants]

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