Say Hello To Freddie Mitchell, hands, sarah larson

The Tao Of Fred Ex

For those of you saw the sleazy, magazine-licking photos of George Clooney's girlfriend Sarah Larson circulating around the web over the last few days, you may have noticed this picture of former Eagles wideout (and substitute teacher) Freddie Mitchell randomly popping up.in the photo book from that scandalous evening. Fred, although unemployed, looks pretty happy escorting a starry-eyed lady into this boozy den of sin.

Of course, I've had my own little run-ins with 4th Down Freddie in the past. For the 15 sweaty seconds we interacted that fateful evening, he was kind enough to pose for that photo. Fred showed up to the party with Brady Quinn and Julius Jones and seemed to have no problem whatsoever mingling with the A-list athletes and celebs.

Now, Fred pops again, at this party, just hanging out and still reaping the benefits of his hands whenever possible. One thing that was always amusing about Freddie was that the media always had a tough time getting in touch with him. He constantly changed his cellphone number (either due to losing his phone or changing locations), so it would be probably pretty tough for some enterprising gossip reporters to get in touch with him this time around to ask about what exactly happened to Clooney's floozy that night.

But, in the spirit of citizen journalism, maybe you should ask him yourself.

He's probably going to change this number soon anyway: 310-709-3542

On the town with Freddie Mitchell [With Leather]
Fred Ex Sighting! With Buttonless Babe [The 700 Level]

5:10 PM on Tue Apr 1 2008
By DAULERIO
12,655 views
32 comments

Comments

tater at 05:17 PM on 04/01/08
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Jeez that lady he's hanging out with is fat!
Juancho at 05:18 PM on 04/01/08
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Connectedness Index: 273

There are "hot" chicks who photograph for that LastNightsParty, they drive real press and paparazzi nuts because they get in everybody else's shot all the damn time.
Silky John-STON! at 05:18 PM on 04/01/08
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The football is like a one-man cold to FredEx. FredEx is the only one catching it, FredEx is the only one coming down with it.
Juancho at 05:18 PM on 04/01/08
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Yes, no, definitely, hell no.
Slothrop at 05:18 PM on 04/01/08
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I think "escort" is the operative word here. She looks like a 4 diamond girl, even for a fattie.
BruschisBrewsky at 05:19 PM on 04/01/08
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Drunk chick in pic would also like to thank Fred-Ex's hands for being so great.
Gourmet Spud at 05:19 PM on 04/01/08
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That's the number for NAMBLA, isn't it?
Christmas Ape at 05:20 PM on 04/01/08
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Connectedness Index: 137

Vinny Cerrato thanks you for the number.
Weed Against Speed at 05:20 PM on 04/01/08
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@tater: No kidding! She can't even button her shirt.
Peter Cavan at 05:20 PM on 04/01/08
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That button is under a considerable amount of stress. The G-forces must be incredible!
BarbarobicsInstructor at 05:20 PM on 04/01/08
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Damn you last button! Why can't you be like the others?
ArkansasFred at 05:22 PM on 04/01/08
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GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE ALREADY YOU WASTE OF A FIRST ROUND PICK!!! AAAARRGHGHGHGGGHH!!!!!
Dead Air ummm Dead Air at 05:22 PM on 04/01/08
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Oh, you jokester, Leitch. Fred Ex with attractive women? Come on! We all know he's a loser. April Fools, indeed.
TheStarterWife at 05:22 PM on 04/01/08
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See that Gucci hat???

That is why we're going to be stuck with an ESPN fashion show.

Fucking Gucci hats.
Secret Identity at 05:22 PM on 04/01/08
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I thought Marissa Cooper died in a car crash?
Clare at 05:23 PM on 04/01/08
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This photo would be infinitely more amusing if it had Chase Utley and some pop-up video bubbles in it.
Dead Air ummm Dead Air at 05:23 PM on 04/01/08
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@Dead Air ummm Dead Air: Or Daulerio if I knew how to proofread.
Carlton_Whitfield at 05:23 PM on 04/01/08
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Any thoughts on what FredEx's shirt says? Something about a tepee?
WoodBatsSteelBalls at 05:24 PM on 04/01/08
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Is he wearing a "I Wanna Make Love in a Tepee" shirt?
Weed Against Speed at 05:24 PM on 04/01/08
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@Carlton_Whitfield: I Wanna Make Peepee in a Teepee?

Isn't that taking his hate for the Washington Redskings a bit too far?
WoodBatsSteelBalls at 05:26 PM on 04/01/08
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@Carlton_Whitfield: Here is the shirt [www.orangeplus.co.kr]
BarbarobicsInstructor at 05:26 PM on 04/01/08
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@Weed Against Speed: @Peter Cavan: I guess that would be considered a natural commenting hat trick?
Jews For Purple Jesus at 05:27 PM on 04/01/08
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Fred showed up to the party with Brady Quinn and Julius Jones

I'm sure they posed for photos by grabbing each others crotches.
tater at 05:27 PM on 04/01/08
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@Carlton_Whitfield:
Think about it...there are only two things you can do in a teepee and they are both fun.
War Penguin at 05:29 PM on 04/01/08
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@Carlton_Whitfield: @WoodBatsSteelBalls: I think he is.
Flαmεtown at 05:29 PM on 04/01/08
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Freddie Mitchell never was the same after he lost everything in that FedEx lawsuit.
UkraineNotWeak at 05:30 PM on 04/01/08
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Clooney:

You've come a long way from Natalie and Tootie.
cowbell204 at 05:32 PM on 04/01/08
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USC cheerleaders = boing
[i17.photobucket.com]
Old No.7 at 05:34 PM on 04/01/08
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So THAT'S where all the white women at.
tater at 05:36 PM on 04/01/08
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Ah yes Clooney....

Does anyone else here feel like me in that I want to watch Leatherheads just to see John Krasinski punch him in the face?
BarbarobicsInstructor at 05:37 PM on 04/01/08
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So, even out-of-work receivers pull better gap than the Cardinals' starting QB... How sad
1980 David Bowie From... at 05:54 PM on 04/01/08
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Freddie Mitchell called me a motherfucking asshole.

And, um.... that's it.