Deadspin
Wade Boggs, venerable hit machine and moustachioed gadabout, has always seemed to be an odd, shady guy. There was that messy affair with Margo Adams. Then he started popping up in hair plug commercials. Then he inducted WWE's Curt Henning into the Wrestling Hall of Fame last year. His boozing on road trips was other wordly.
Now, he's basically trolling around Tampa, willing to talk to horny ladies like the one seen above while making odd hand gestures.
But this Sunday, he'll be back talking about baseball. On April 13, he'll appear on Baseball Tonight as a guest analyst, part of an ongoing "Hall of Fame" series.
For some reason, Wade just doesn't seem like he'll be up to the task at hand; the years of torment, boozing and horn-dogging have completely zapped him of the ability to articulate anything above twiddling his fingers, answering yes or no questions or belching. (Ed. Note: We know the feeling.)
Hopefully, he'll be wearing that shirt during the broadcast.
Baseball Tonight To Feature Hall of Fame Analysts [Awful Announcing]
(Photo courtesy of Local Hotties)
Comments
Tastes like chicken.
As long as he has a nice bit of chicken before the broadcast, he'll be fine. Maybe he and Ray "Chicken Parm" Ferraro can go out to dinner beforehand.
An Elway and then a Boggs post?
I need to get wasted.
Is Boggs the one with or without the Botox in that photo?
...and don't forget he loses bar fights about England's greatest prime minister.
White Hicks. Gang Signs.
He has demanded the Budweiser hot seat be changed to the Miller Lite hot seat.
Every Wade I've ever known in real life has been a total creeper. Wade Boggs seems to be no exception.
So, is this the official Frozen Four thread?
/dick joke
"Moustachioed gadabout," AJ? Pot, meet kettle...
No, Boggs
@Pretty Much Just Another Ice Sculpture: Apparently it's 80s night at Deadspin.
"Wade, what do you see as the strengths of this resugent Orioles team?"
"So then Mike Boddicker hands me an empty vermouth bottle and I smash it over the guy's head. Only later when I was going down on his niece did I find out he was in the clergy."
It's fitting that a career singles hitter would use a one-fingered shocker.
Did he just get done watching Crocodile Dundee as well? I have been trying to get that hand thingy down all night.
It's just like [www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com], except without the hot chicks.
@Al Czerviks Ride to Denver via Albany: I'm not sure, but what Nathan Gerbe just did to JPL should not be legally allowed in any state or commonwealth. 2-0 Eagles on a Gerbe shortie. No pun intended.
Don't forget the incident where he lost his pants just outside of a Boston bar. He claimed they were stolen, but come on.
the years of torment, boozing and horn-dogging have completely zapped him of the ability to articulate anything
That hasn't stopped Berman from working.
I don't like having to Wade through these types of posts on Deadspin, it really Boggs me down at work.
SIEVE SIEVE SIEVE!!!
I love college hockey.
@Slothrop: You know, we should just sneak over to the NHL closer. No one would see us there. Hint...Hint.
And yes, this is redonkulous.
@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: "oh yes it's 80s night (oh whatta night)."
/might be "ladies" night.
@Yostal:
I can't hear you as I'm already gone.
@Yostal: Also watching the game... big Nick Petrecki fan here
@The Teufel Shuffle: Unfortunately...with
@tater:
Lord Palmerston!
4-0!!!
I'd like to see Boggs and Spencer Pratt in a handsign-off.
Harold Reynolds would like to buy you dinner and share a few tips.
@Rickey_Fitts:
psst, we're over here:[deadspin.com]
@Slothrop: I am all for as many people as possible talking about that game. Right here.
OK, where do I go to talk about college hockey? I'm so confused...
@Rickey_Fitts: I thought the reference was to last night's beating of the Senators. Don't mind me.
Speaking of beatings, I just watched that video...
..he inducted WWE's Curt Henning into the Wrestling Hall of Fame last year.
You say that like it wasn't a huge honour.
@Token_Tennis_Fan: S'awright..
@RugDaniels:
Pit The Elder!
That "boozing" link is fucking awesome.
Wade was a legendary boozer. I remember my friend meeting him at some charity function in Westchester and Wade got himself so pissed drunk he couldn't open up a simple gate hinge. Then when he got elected into the hall of fame, he celebrated by drinking 20 someodd beers at Mickey Mantle's on Central Park South. But I will always remember Wade as doing the Macarena on a very very very very very cheese comercial that the Yankees made for "Macarena Night" back in August of '96. Beyond ridicoulous.
If a one finger shocker from Wade Boggs is the price to get deadspin commenter status, so be it. Pony up Wade, we're going for a ride.
After one of the Yankees World Series titles, Wade hopped up on the back of one of the cops' horses, and they rode around together, highfiving the crowd. It was so gay, I couldn't believe it. He had one arm wrapped around the manly torso of the cop. It was like when Hans dreamed of riding with Patrick Swayze. I'm just sayin'
I was visiting a college just outside of Orlando when I was seventeen and was aggressively hit on by Wade Boggs. Granted, I was in a bar, so I understand his confusion, but even when I told him I was only seventeen, he was quite persistent. He was all red and shiny, it was incredibly uncomfortable. And he's a close talker.
Interesting sidenote: a good friend of mine went home from the same bar with JC Chasez of NSync fame about a year later.
Rumor has it, Boggs is an "opposite field" single
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