Deadspin
In soccer there is only one thing more humiliating than an own goal; it's when you pick up three prostitutes and later discover that they're all transvestites. (I can see you nodding in agreement). Poor Ronaldo. Not only did he receive "the Brazilian Surprise," but then when he tried to bribe the faux ladies into keeping quiet about it, one of them wanted more money than the AC Milan superstar was willing to shell out. Hilarity of course ensued.
The transvestites are accusing Ronaldo of threatening to harm them if they talked, and Ronaldo is accusing them of extortion. Eddie Murphy and Oscar De La Hoya are right now jetting to Rio to serve as character witnesses.
"I have to check both sides of the story, the transvestites' version and Ronaldo's," Carlos Augusto Nogueira, chief of the police precinct investigating the incident, told a news conference. "Ronaldo said he is not good in the head and that he is going through psychological problems because of his recent surgery," he said.
Is it customary in Brazil to call a press conference for all potential crimes involving transvestites? Because it seems to me that that's all that they would be doing each day.
Police Probe Renaldo-Transvestite Incident [Mirror UK]
Ronaldo Questioned After Transvestite Mixup [MSNBC]
Comments
Ronaldo's recent surgery? Well, there's the problem. Post-op trannies don't hook up with pre-op trannies. Duh.
Yes it's true, this woman has a dick.
He should have called Eliot Spitzer if he wanted to make sure his whores weren't dudes.
They only promised "no hands". They didn't say anything about any other body parts.
And this is still the least gay thing about Soccer.
I "heard" this was a problem in Amsterdamn.......dudes didn't realize they were paying trannies and it resulted it fights. That is why the tranny district in Amsterdamn has blue lights. That is what I've heard anyway.....
we've all been there before...
Boo. A trial? THAT'S the hilarity? I was expecting some sort of mad-cap chase through the streets of Rio to the Benny Hill music, possibly with one of the transvestites waving a rolling pin as she ran. Ronaldo would of course have had to hide in some sort of large straw vessel at some point.
Ronaldo: The Real Client #9
"Ronaldo said he is not good in the head and that he is going through psychological problems because of his recent surgery,"
Roger Clemens wonders if it's too late to try this defense.
@Chief Wahoo: +1. What you aren't excited about a 0-0 Champions League match between Manchester United and Barcelona?
Thats no woman that's a man baby
Err... I'm sure this story actually happened to C. Ronaldo in Portugal and that the media just got their names confused.
Nothing to see here folks, please move right along, new post should be up in about 15 minutes or so...
Police Probe Renaldo-Transvestite Incident
I'd say there has been quite enough probing already, thank you very much.
Three trannies? So does that make it a jimmy hat trick?
/please tip your waitresses
He should just tell everyone that he was trying out for Madam Butterfly.
How sad. A national icon has to pay for sex.
"I have to check both sides of the story, the transvestites' version and Ronaldo's,"
It's the usual he/she said, he/she said, he/she said, he said bullshit.
"I have to check both sides of the story" Carlos Augusto Nogueira, chief of the police, told a news conference."
Coincidentally, Ronaldo should have checked both sides of his prostitutes.
....and this almost made my day when I started reading, till I realized that it wasn't C. Ronaldo. Booo to this story.
But then again C. Ronaldo may well be a tranny.
I am impressed that he was picking up what he thought were three women. Hoepfully he validated their parking for them.
"As maçãs do seu adam eram tão grandes quanto suas esferas!"
There will be no diving in the box.
@Weed Against Speed: +1; that had me chuckling for a while there
Maybe Ronaldo should have checked both sides of the story, if you know what I mean.
I didn't think Ronaldo needed to pay to see beautiful balls.
Let's get one thing straight, meatball...face...butt. I work alone. 'Cept when I work with Ronaldo...which is all the time.
não me diga!
/special thanks to Pimsleur
Hey, if YOU have a better idea of how one would get a free prostate exam, then Ronaldo would love to hear it.
When they said "we do not have cleets"
he thought they were referring to footwear.
Those trannys were still probably hotter than Mia Hamm.
The strangest thing about this item is that Daulerio didn't post it.
C. Ronaldo would also have fallen for this. Then again, he falls for anything.
@UkraineNotWeak: that's especially hard when there is no box.
What is it with soccer players and paying for sex? Are they so sexually freaky that there are certain things that even soccer groupies won't engage in? Thus, they must seek out professionals who will do it for money.
@David Hume: +1, Still laughing at that.
There's not a "Tuck Rule" in soccer, is there?
Was he called for a handball?
@Doyle McPoyle:
[applesaucekids.com]
But how old were the trannies?
/Clemens'd
the evidence, in this case, is a flop.
Damn. +1 everybody.
The Great Deception has shifted from "The Hand Of God" to "Man Hands".
let me set the record straight. i thought...the cop...was a...prostitute
@Magnakai Haaskivi: crap
This is why I never send rounds of "O Funky Cold Medina" to girls in Rio bars.
Oh, and if there was ever a acceptable reason to have a seizure minutes before performing, this would be it.
In other news Richard Quest has told his CNN producers that he wants to do a story on Rio's business district.
"Bitch/Bastard set me up!"
-marion berry'd
Oscar de la Hoya doesn't see what the big deal is.
@David Hume: Bravo.
right now this is the #1 story worldwide (both read and emailed) on the bbc website. clemens has nothing on el phenomeno!
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