Ronaldo Plays The Crying Game

In soccer there is only one thing more humiliating than an own goal; it's when you pick up three prostitutes and later discover that they're all transvestites. (I can see you nodding in agreement). Poor Ronaldo. Not only did he receive "the Brazilian Surprise," but then when he tried to bribe the faux ladies into keeping quiet about it, one of them wanted more money than the AC Milan superstar was willing to shell out. Hilarity of course ensued.

The transvestites are accusing Ronaldo of threatening to harm them if they talked, and Ronaldo is accusing them of extortion. Eddie Murphy and Oscar De La Hoya are right now jetting to Rio to serve as character witnesses.

"I have to check both sides of the story, the transvestites' version and Ronaldo's," Carlos Augusto Nogueira, chief of the police precinct investigating the incident, told a news conference. "Ronaldo said he is not good in the head and that he is going through psychological problems because of his recent surgery," he said.

Is it customary in Brazil to call a press conference for all potential crimes involving transvestites? Because it seems to me that that's all that they would be doing each day.

Police Probe Renaldo-Transvestite Incident [Mirror UK] Ronaldo Questioned After Transvestite Mixup [MSNBC]