Deadspin
Time once again for Minor Enterprise, a celebration of God's gift of Minor League baseball promotions, mascots and fans. Also, The View's Joy Behar dishes celebrity gossip.
We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. A man confronts you, he is the enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy. What do we study here? THE WAY OF THE FIST, SIR. And what is that way? STRIKE FIRST. STRIKE HARD. NO MERCY, SIR. And when the Fresno Grizzlies stage a promotion, they also take no prisoners. Thursday, May 15 is Totally Rad '80s Night at Chukchansi Park, where the honored guest will be Cobra Kai karate dojo bad boy Johnny Lawrence. Yes, Daniel-san's nemesis, in person. Not for the meek!
In case you question his credentials, Mr. Lawrence was voted No. 1 in Star Pulse magazine's list of Top Movie Dicks of All Time in 2006. Not only did he sweep Daniel Russo's leg in a pivotal scene in the 1984 film The Karate Kid, but let us not forget that he was also responsible for smashing Daniel's boom box at the beach, and trashing his bike. We will never forget his sneer and his solar panel hairstyle (see video below).
His real name is Billy Zabka, and he appeared in several films subsequent to The Karate Kid; among them the 1992 classic Shootfighter: Fight To The Death. Now 42, he's still active in films and is a creative director for a music publishing firm.
"When we decided to have an '80s night, and learned that Billy Zabka lived lived in Grass Valley (near Sacramento), it was a natural to try and get him," said Grizzlies' Vice President of Marketing Scott Carter. "He was glad to do it. We asked him if we could recreate a Karate Kid fight scene and have our mascot, Parker, kick him in the face. He said sure." Totally Rad '80s Night will also feature a tribute to Garbage Pail Kids, '80s music, and other things yet to be dreamed up. Grab your body bag and come on down. Yeah!
Other promotions you're not going to want to miss:
• Tree Sapling Giveaway. Friday, South Bend Silver Hawks (Class-A Midwest League). Who can resist a promotion in which the first 3,000 fans receive trees? Kind of like a do-it-yourself bat day. (Note: No, ESPN employees may not keep the trees).
• Who Wants To Be A Mexican Millionaire? Monday, May 5, Huntsville Stars (Class-AA Southern League).
Celebrate Cinco de Mayo the good, old-fashioned politically incorrect way, as the Stars will hand out "green cards" and take whacks at a "human pinata." Plus, for two bucks, Gen. Santa Ana will let you drink a beer from his artificial leg. [Thanks to Benjamin Hill]
• Chris Snee Day. May 18, Binghamton Mets (Class-AA Eastern League). The Mets honor the New York Giants offensive guard and Montrose, Pa., native, who will sign autographs before the game with the Erie Seawolves. Please form an orderly line. Mr. Snee will not sign body parts.
• Bobblehead of the Moment. Ross Grimsley Bobblehead Giveaway. Saturday, Augusta GreenJackets (Class-A South Atlantic League). The GreenJackets salute the 1970s with $1 Pabst Blue Ribbon in 16oz. cans, disco dancing, twister, afros and Ross Grimsley, the former Reds, Orioles and Expos pitcher who is their current pitching coach. The doll should be a very interesting and sought-after item.
We're looking for your Minor League tips. Send all photos, game accounts, promotional news and recipes to RickChand@GMail.com. Thanks!
Comments
Little-known fact: Billy Zabka was nominated for an Oscar. No, seriously!
Better picture:
[bp1.blogger.com]
/still can't get them to show up in the comment
Put him in a body bag, Johnny, yeah!
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Also appearing: Bill Simmons.
Not for the game though. To suck off Johnny Lawrence.
ironically the only thing that wound up in a body bag was William Zabka's acting career..
Get him a bobble-head, yeah!
That crane thing was some fake-ass shit.
Can you smoke the trees?
Too soon for a Roger Clemens Night where everyone who slept with him gets in free?
I want my life to be Totally Rad '80s Night.
watch out boys, the legwarmers are coming out tonight...
@Doyle McPoyle: Best Short Film, no? I want to say it was three or four years ago...
The Ecto Cooler had better be flowing freely in Fresno.
Tons of California stoners are making their yearly pilgrimage to Grass Valley as we speak.
As bad as Zabka was, he could never pull off a triple lindy.
'$1 Pabst Blue Ribbon in 16oz. cans'
It's 'GO' time!!!
Braves are having a promotion. They hope to give away Mike Hampton.
"Who Wants To Be A Mexican Millionaire?"
Ismael Valdez.
We are the Mets who say "Snee."
ummmm....
AA Arkansas Travelers (Texas League, Angels affiliate)
Pre Game Midget Wrestling!!! ::
Date: Friday May 16, 2008
Time: 7:10 PM
Back after a one-year tour through Europe...Midget Wrestling before tonight's game presented by Midtown Billiards, Magic 105 and Fox 16. Belvis "The Black Elvis" entertains fans tonight too! After the game kids run the bases and receive a free gift courtesy of Gator Park. Midget Wrestling begins at 6:45 p.m.
Any word if No More Kings will be in Frenso?
+ Watch video
I hate this promotion! I hate this stupid promotion!
@Hit Bull Win Steak: Not true. He went on to reprise the role of "asshole jock in a red leather jacket" in Just One of the Guys.
Black Elvis is often horrendously drunk in his appearances
Shouldn't Kevin Bacon win "Top Movie Dicks"?
Dude shows his in every freaking film.
@Doyle McPoyle: It should have been for Just One Of The Guys.
But the question really is, is there a blog advocating the protection of obscure 80's stars that is really pissed by this?
Not only did he sweep Daniel Russo's leg in a pivotal scene in the 1984 film The Karate Kid, but let us not forget that he was also responsible for smashing Daniel's boom box at the beach, and trashing his bike.
Don't forget how he ruined Daniel-San's awesome all-white outfit by making him run into the waiter with a plate full of spaghetti. Dick.
GHABB,Y! actually predicted this would happen, but supermike didn't believe him
@dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: @sassydeerrun: Damnit and damnit. You both ruined my one chance at a humorous reference in this post.
Heineken? Fuck that shit. Pabst Blue Ribbon.
@Sir Hotbod Handsomeface: I cringe just reading that. Most heartbreaking scene ever.
@GreatOdensRaven: I dfound that song thanks to MLB08, it's damn awesome.
Also: He was also responsible for smashing Daniel's boom box at the beach[...]
It was Ali-with-an-i's boombox. Honestly, you call this journalism? I weep for the future.
I heard Pat Summerall is calling the game with the ghost of Harry Carey.
ESPN employees are still holding out for a "Bike Rack Giveaway Day" anyways.
I'll bring my Adam Bomb Garbage Pail Kid card, but you can only look, don't touch!
I wonder what Leigh J McCloskey is up to these days? An older version of Billy Zubka who also appeared in Just One of the Guys.
Will they make the outfielders catch the fly balls with chopsticks?
A couple years ago I performed at the Friar's Club the night Mr. Lawrence celebrated his 40th birthday there. He was seated up front and center and even though he seemed like a perfectly nice guy part of me was pooping my pants on the inside.
I approve of this promotion.
@GreatOdensRaven:
is that Mr. Belding? Dude is everywhere!
"He was glad to do it. We asked him if we could recreate a Karate Kid fight scene and have our mascot, Parker, kick him in the face. He said sure."
"Then I heard a gunshot and the phone went dead..."
Braves are having a promotion. They hope to give away Mike Hampton.
I believe we explicitly stated "no take-backs" when we got rid of him.
@Dead Wrestlers Society: Screw you, Melon!
I had no idea Eli Manning had a film career.
@BigTenObsession: It is, in fact, Mr. Belding. Johnny actually directed the video, too.
I would give good money to any Grizzlies employee that asks Zabka, "Is there a problem, Mr. Lawrence?"
I have got a really bad cramp. I've been having really bad cramps all week.
/thorton melon'd
I wonder if Zabka lives near Grass Valley Greg, and can therefore get us discounts on Tofutti.
Hey, slugger.
Mexican millionaire night sure sounds like a winner. The human pinata will be chosen from a group of people in front of the Home Depot. Normally, they just beat the shit out of them.