Deadspin
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ...
• "The Hornets have made me a believer. From what I've seen, I'm more than impressed." — ballaticionjb11
Previous ESPN Featured Comment of the Day, plus a Featured Deadspin Response or two ...
• "Turco had this look that he wasn't letting anything past him." — drew2576
• Tebow had this look like he's not letting any foreskin get past him - shanoff — millensdraftskills
• The Bridgekeeper had this look like he wasn't going to let anyone past him, unless they answered him his questions three.-BraveSirRobin165 — Steve_U
• Turok had this look that he wasn't letting any dinosaurs past him - drewn64 — Camp Tiger Claw
Comments
"The dog has made me a believer. From what I've seen, I'm not even mad, I'm impressed!" - RBurgundy
"Nargis has made me a believer. From what I've seen, I'm more than impressed." - Burmyanmar
"That Jesus has made me a believer. From what I've seen, I'm more than impressed."-Nazarethhomeboy
"The hairnets have made me a believer. From what I've seen, I'm more than impressed with the sloppy joes." -- lunchladyland14
Her face has made me a believer. From what I've seen, there is no doubt in my mind. I am in love.
-monkeeman1969
"Scarlett has made me a believer. From what I've seen, I'm more than impressed.--luckybastardryan
Her face has made me a believer. From what I've seen, there's not a doubt in my mind."
--NeilDfromBrooklyn
And I saw her face. Now I'm a believer.
- The Monkees.
"The Tigers have me a doubter. From what I've seen, I'm more than depressed" - TyCobbIsRollingInHisGrave11
@Stev D: bastard....
The "In ballaticionjb11's Words..." is such a grammatical nightmare that it made me cry a little bit.
"The Giants have made me a reliever. Coming from what I've been, I'm more than depressed."
--Barry Zitto
"The Monkees have made me a believer. From what I've seen, I'm more than impressed." -- JewishElvis66
"She has made me a believer. When I saw her face, I was more than impressed." - TheMonkees11
"Jesus has made me a believer, from what I've seen, I'm more than impressed"
-doubtingthomased-
"The Monkees have made me a believer. I've seen, and there's no doubt in my mind." - mickey11
@Stev D: For fuck's sake.
All Hail ballaticionjb11, the great arbiter of all that is impressive and beyond impressive.
Besides, you gotta love a man who admits that "i a kobe bryant fan"
Eva Longoria is so impressed, she is going to give Chris Paul a blumpkin.
@Stev D: I banish ye to Davy Jones' locker!
@Stev D: Must get quicker fingers.@Send It In, Jerome!:
"The Hornets have made me swollen and I have trouble breathing. From what my Doctor has seen, I am more than screwed."
-dontsteponthehive69
James Woods was in True Believer. From what I've already seen of his, I probably won't be impressed. --rroeper11
@LeagueofShadows: not bad
Hugo has made me a believer. From what I've seen, I'm more than impressed. - jcash
@UseTheForceLukeWalton: You're fired.
Six Monkees jokes. Holy hell.
/hangs head in shame
"My cellmate has made me a receiver. From what I've seen, it's going to be painful."
-Ookie
Eight Belles made me a believer. From what I've seen, I'm more than impressed. That girl can run with the boys for sure.
"The hornets have stung me. From what I've seen, I'm really quite swollen." -- UnfortunateBeekeeper
Can I get a do-over?
"The Hornets have made me a believer. Every day is a gift!"
-- Cancer Boy
The White Sox have made me a believer. With a bat in my ass, I'm more than impressed. -ReallDoll69
"These commenters have made me a believer. Six Monkees jokes, I'm impressed."-Me
The Giant Asian Hornet has scared the shit out of me. From what I've seen, I'm never going to Asia. Ever. - japanesebugfightsfan
I will never take off my Chris Paul jersey. -- DaveyDub12
I am a hipster douchebag and I subscribe to The Believer.
@A Pimp Named DaveR:
Chris: And the first nominee is Cancer Boy.
Clemptor: Yummy.
Chris: From his new album, "Whistle When You're Low."
"Jack Horner's new protégé made me a believer. From what I've seen, I'm more than impressed." --ColonelJames
@StuScott Booyahs:
I know, I am getting out of here.
/takes last train to Clarksville
@Weed Against Speed: Welcome to Oz Bitch!
@StuScott Booyahs: Ah, but mine had a Neil Diamond joke, as well.
For some reason I can't seen the comment before the jump. Sadly, it was the smartest ESPN comment I've ever seen.
"The Bushes have made me a deceiver. With a gun to my head, I'm really ver klempt.--arif02
@Sh!tShow: Oh just DIE.
@Sucko-T: +1 excellent
"All those anorexic girls dancing on their toenails have made me a believer. From what I've been forced to watch by my wife, I'm more than impressed." - balletconjob11
Katrina has made us believers, from what we have seen we are more than impressed.
-levees of New Orleans
Breeding has made that dog a retriever, but he won't bring back shit, I'm depressed
"The whores have made me a believer. From what I've seen, I'm more than impressed." --Ronaldo10
This bible retreat has made me a believer. No more meth and muscled up male escorts for this guy!
-tedhaggard69
Moltasante has made me a Cleaver. From what I've seen, I think I'll murder him in cold blood. -njdago
"WC Heinz has made me a believer. From what I've read, he truly can evoke a moment far better than I ever could." --bloodsuckingleitch
"basketball is so many things, a career, a business, a charity etc. but in essence, it's fun you have to wan't and love to play basketball and that goes with any and every sport. when it becomes nothing but a career or business. then you become disconnected with the sport. this is why i a kobe bryant fan. because he never lets his fans down. he leaves his heart out on the court every game he plays. but how this relates to me and i'm not even an athlete, is you have to find something you love and don't let the technicalities and the business of it stand in your way."
No, I don't have a joke. The jokes write themselves.
@Weed Against Speed: Cop #1: Hey, didya see that, uh, Nina Bedford show this morning?
Cop #2: Yeah, that uh... thing about toast-fucking.
Cop #1: ...toast-fucking?
Cop #2: Yeah - it's the new thing where you fuck or get fucked with toast.
Cop #1: No, the... the show this morning was about that new drug.
Cop #2: Oh. Must have been a dream I had.
Now you must all bow before the Ballaticion!!!*
*Which is, coincidentally, a French transformer.
The herpes sores has made her a bleeder.