No word from The Dugout on this just yet, but it's only a matter of time. Yes, if you thought you knew Kyle Farnsworth — Grand Theft Farnsworth! — YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

Kyle Farnsworth, pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth himself, is profiled in the New York Daily News as ... as a master baker.

"We have a bake-off every year and the kids are the judges," says Shayla Pert, his fiancée. "He always wins; I think he pays them. He's a great baker. He's Betty Crocker. He makes the best peanut butter cookies ever."

Yep. Kyle Farnsworth, quiet, reserved, refined family man. Totally. We absolutely believe that.

OK, Dugout crew: Your turn. We're all waiting.

Grand Theft Farnsworth [The Dugout]
Kyle Farnsworth's Softer Side [New York Daily News]

Send an email to Will Leitch, the author of this post, at will@deadspin.com.