Kobe Bryant, Experienced Drinker

Of all the weird, vaguely insane things that Kobe Bryant has done in his weird, vaguely insane life — this is still our favorite — the most public and quietly strange might have been his claim at his press conference last night that he would go home and “whine about it tonight ... lot of wine ... lot of beer ... couple shots ... maybe like 20 of ‘em” after the collapse last night.

First off, we love that he realizes that “whine” and “wine” are pronounced the same, and just runs with it, man. Secondly ... we suspect that Kobe Bryant has never, ever done 20 shots in one sitting; we wonder if he has even done two. We still love the mental image of a histrionic Kobe sitting at his dinner table, forlorn, screaming for an assistant to rush over a new bottle of Sauvignon blanc, with a butter nipple shot in one hand and a Michelob Ultra in the other. Yeah: He really took that loss hard.