Presenting The Unbreakable Wooden Bat. Pedro Cerrano Approves

First man split the atom, then he invented the toaster pastry, and now this: A New Jersey man has developed the first unbreakable wooden bat. Ward Dill, an MIT graduate, put his Radial Bat through the paces on Tuesday, promising that it will never shatter, will not make that annoying "ping" sound, and is a perfect alternative for colleges, youth leagues, and, eventually, even major league baseball. (Fat kid, halfway through burning words "Savoy Special" onto bat, throws down soldering iron in disgust).

It is made from 12 wedges that are combined with adhesive and clamping pressure. The result is that the outside of each wedge has a tight grain surface, guaranteeing the best hitting surface at every spot on the bat. "The result is that it is very strong, and as a result of it being strong it is very safe,'' Dill said. "It is impossible for this maple bat to shatter in the way the maple bats shatter in the major leagues today. You will never have a barrel separating from the handle. The worst thing that can happen is a crack. There is a never a catastrophic break.'' There is also no trampoline effect, Dill said. The ball does not jump off the bat. "The difference between a catastrophic injury and a bruise is a just little movement,'' Dill said.

Of course companies like Easton and Louisville Slugger will suppress this invention, Dill will disappear under mysterious circumstances and the bat will will not resurface for 30 or so years; just like the electric car. But it's fun to think about. New Bat Designed To Take the 'Ping' Out Of Baseball [The Sporting News]