Arian Foster's Philosophy Store Coming to a Strip Mall Near You?

I haven't made myself watch the UT-UCLA game yet. It's sitting on my DVR. I put on the pregame last night and heard Rece Davis, Lou Holtz, and Mark May talking about how many times Arian Foster would carry the ball. Holtz and May both predicted he'd get over 150 yards. They were wrong. Arian only got 96 yards. Because he was really ineffective. And by really ineffective I mean averaged 7.4 yards a carry. For some reason he only got 13 carries. But, even still, I've been getting emails asking me about Mike "Britney Spears" Patrick's line that Foster is a philosophy major who planned to open philosophy stores upon his graduation. I didn't believe this happened. Now someone has sent me the link to the youtube clip. It's here after the jump.

Can someone please explain what a philosophy store would sell? Or is this another example of Mike Patrick going off the deep end? I just hope this philosophy store doesn't conflict with my Nihilist Express DryCleaners. Philosophy Store [Bolder Law]