Listen young lady, I don't know how they do things down in Lexington, but we at the Hugh Johnson Project don't really "do" dick jokes. What's that you say? It is just one big dick joke? Well alright then, please gather up some like-minded friends and join us after the jump.

You know it's a slow afternoon when the best national game is Alabama vs. Kentucky. Not that I don't love SEC football, I just can't stand watching Nick Saban succeed. Sadly that's been the story so far in Tuscaloosa, with the home team opening up an early 14-0 lead. Glen Coffee got things started when he went relatively untouched for a 78 yard scamper in the first quarter. Alabama added a defensive touchdown, before beginning quarter number two. Even Dicky Lyons Jr. would have a tough time dreaming up a positive outcome for his Wildcats.

Earlier today Kansas capped off a huge comeback to win 35-33 and Boston College held off NC State to win a thriller in the ACC by a score of 38-31. Chris Crane led the Eagles with 431 yards passing and 52 yards rushing. Matt Ryan's replacement guided the team on a game-winning drive in the waning minutes. Not too shitty.

Other Games of Interest:

(7) Texas Tech 14 - 14 Kansas State
Michigan 14 - 10 Illinois
Cal 17 - 0 Arizona State
South Carolina 24 - 21 Ole Miss

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Blowing a 4th quarter comeback in pure Kirk Ferentz style, those Hawkeyes. Please tell me he has compromising photos of the Iowa AD or president, because I still can't explain why he has a job. -Signal2Noise

I still get the feeling that Rich Rodriguez is still confused on the sideline. The look on his face seems to say "Where the fuck is Pat White?!" -kingdonut66

Eddie Guns can't catch a break. Even Verne and Gary are making fun of Hochuli after the ref threw a flag on a Bama extra point. -Signal2Noise

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NBC needs to get the memo to never show the ND student section. For every hot girl at Holy Cross, God planted a tree. For every hot girl at Notre Dame, God built a Golden Dome. -MUDaveFan

Alabama's Terrance Cody went down from 430 pounds to 360, according to Tracy Wolfson. He still looks like he's eaten a running back or two. -Signal2Noise

That's all for Hugh this week. Thanks to those of you that contributed. The rest of you are all going to hell. I'm sorry.