In a stunning turn of events that you could not possibly have seen coming, 40-40 man and all-around mensch Jose Canseco was recently detained at the U.S.-Mexico border for ... do we even need say it? Yes, Jose will appear in federal court next week to answer charges of illegal steroid possession. But not just any steroid; this one is for your balls.

“In males, [Human chorionic gonadotropin] mimics L H and helps restore and maintain testosterone production in the testes. As such, hCG is commonly used during and after steroid cycles to maintain and restore testicular size as well as endogenous testosterone production."

In other words, when you put the juice in you, it shrinks your nads. So you put this stuff in after it to re-embiggen them. Problem solved. Frankly, we think the government needs to end this crazy war on drugs that keep your nuts at their proper size. How many lives will it ruin before we learn our lesson? And oh, by the way ... Jose Canseco is sleazy drug cheat who will never ever change. Ever. • Canseco ‘Detained’ at Mexican Border For Steroids [SbB]