I know Halloween was a week ago and we're way past the time where we should be comparing whose costume was better than whose—because that discussion is over—but it's Friday afternoon and I received an email in my inbox that I could not let go over the weekend. There was no message, just the attached photo you see above and a subject line: "pretty sure my costume was better than that jerk baby's."

Ok, first of all—you just slandered an infant. Second of all, your choice of costume is inspired and you clearly know how to work this particular crowd, but a fake microphone and a pair of short shorts does not make you America's Sideline Princess. A valiant effort, but no.

Finally ... and I can't stress this enough ... no one makes fun of Baby Mangino. No one.

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.