• The Phantom Coolness: Star Wars-themed Sports jerseys; When you want to tell the world, "I will never have a girlfriend and I've come to terms with that fact." [Fan IQ]

• The list is long, but distinguished: Another reason to hate Johnny Damon? Do we really need more? [Sox and Dawgs]

• The toothpaste isn't bad: You want to know what the deal is with those Amway ads? Well, if I could just have 10 minutes of your time, I have a presentation that might explain things. [The Diaries of Claude Boris Castille]

• Coaching, not so much: What did we learn from the Mo Cheeks Era in Philly? At we know he knows the words to the national anthem. [Depressed Fan]

• Now that's corrupt: I heard Rod Blagojevich almost gave up politics to become a college basketball coach, but then decided that the recruiting business was just too shady for his tastes. [Money Players]

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.